Oh, hello. We've missed you. While you were looking up Canadian citizenship requirements, shouting at the wind and crying your f*cking faces off, we were downing Chinese food, researching airline tickets to Phoenix and watching your FIGHTING HOYAS give us something to finally smile about. In advance of an early season REVENGE GAME against those hated boys from College Park, we once again celebrate and vilify all of those most deserving. Away we go....
The Lin Manuel Miranda Award for Winning All of the Awards:
Y'all can stop hating on our fearless leader now. I know it's early, but those of you who were craving change we can believe in should relax for a bit. You wanted him to acknowledge the fouling problems. He did. You wanted him to work on our defensive issues and start pressing more often. He did. You wanted him to land top-flight recruits. He did. You wanted him to hire new assistants and make some changes to the offense. He did. You wanted a new practice facility. You got one. You wanted more athletic dudes and transfers. You got ‘em.
He's not throwing away his shot. He's doing the unimaginable. He will never be satisfied.
Chris Wright Heart of a Champion Award:
Welcome to the squad, old fella. In a performance for the ages, the fifth-year transfer poured in a career-high 32 points, including six threes, on an impressive 13 of 16 from the floor. Pryor just treated his first game in the blue and gray like any other Kenner League game (where he dominated). Those of you who saw Rodney over the summer knew he'd play an outsized role on this team; but it was still pretty fantastic to see that Kenner success carry over into the regular season.
It's worth noting, though, how unusual this performance was. Pryor is a good three-point shooter, but probably not a great one. He's more of a slasher and jack of all trades. It wasn't surprising that he scored so many points. But it WAS surprising that he didn't fill the stat sheet in other areas. Pryor finished with one rebound, zero assists, zero steals and zero blocks. This was unusual because Pryor can be such a disruptive force on the defensive end. If this team is going to excel against better opponents, Pryor will need to round out his game in these other areas. And I love that JTIII focused on these deficiencies in the post game interview rather than on his otherwise stellar offensive output.
Still, hard to complain about 32 points. Rodney looked good, folks.
Toyota Peak Performer Award:
L.J. did a little bit of everything on Saturday. He scored a cool 14 points and chipped in four assists, four steals and three boards. He was active on defense and didn't force the issue (he was 4 of 6 from the field). He did all of this in 23 minutes.
The Jay Wright Award for Displaying Really Impressive Threads:
Dude, how sweet was it to see J-Wall over there on the sideline? Loved his sharp navy blue suit and pink tie. I'll take his calming presence and winning personality every day of the week. Glad he's back with the program.
The Hillary Rodham Clinton Award for Receiving the Most Popular Votes in the History of this Country Award:
Your Georgetown Hoyas.
The Hoyas poured in 105 points on Saturday, which is only the fifth time that Georgetown has done so in the JTIII era (and the first time in five years). Those 68 points in the first half were an all-time record (as in, no Georgetown squad had ever scored that many points in a half in the history of the program!). You wanted more points and more up-tempo play? You got ‘em. In emphatic style.
(Hillary's lead in the popular vote is still increasing, by the way. And I think Rodney Pryor just hit another three.)
The Nolan Richardson Award for Giving ‘Em Forty Minutes of Hell:
Your Georgetown Hoyas.
It's what fans have been requesting for years. With so much depth and athleticism on this roster, it was only natural to expect that JTIII would dabble a bit more with the press. But on Saturday, he didn't just dabble. He called on our guys to press the sh*t out of USC-Upstate for the whole damn game. Up 33 at the half? Doesn't matter - keep pressing. Extended garbage time? Doesn't matter - keep pressing. Emptying the bench and throwing Muresan out there? KEEP PRESSING.
Love the defensive pressure. Love the energy. And really, just love the mindset. We have the horses this year, so let's use them. I also appreciated that as soon as there were some blown defensive assignments, JTIII immediately called a timeout and started scolding his guys. All business.
Also, scratch the Nolan Richardson reference. Let's just make this a John Thompson Jr. Award. This is how Georgetown is SUPPOSED to play defense.
And, not for nothing, but this is EXACTLY the sort of way we need to play against upset-minded mid-majors. Run them out of the f*cking gym. Ya feel?
The Will Smith Award for Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It:
Welcome aboard, young Jiggy! In what was perhaps the surprise move of the day, JTIII decided to insert our newest freshman squeeze into the starting lineup. All Jagan did was score six points, dish out six assists, pull down four rebounds and steal four balls in just 19 minutes! Oh yeah, he also had zero turnovers. Love his defensive energy, love his presence. Love the fact that he's from Central Jersey. Love Menlo Park mall. Love this kid.
[SwordOfBrunner FUN FACT: Nas wrote "Getting Jiggy Wit It" for Will Smith.]
The Bo Ryan Award for Teaching Defense Without Fouling:
The Georgetown staff.
We've talked about it for three years now. Ever since the NCAA rules changes, your Hoyas just never seemed to adjust. We've had one of the worst foul rates in the country in each of the last two seasons. People wanted it to stop.
For at least one day, it did. Despite rolling out a full court press, your Hoyas didn't pick up a foul until eight minutes into the game. It was awesome. And while it's way too early to know whether our fouling woes will subside, this was a pleasant step in the right direction.
The Drake Award for Dishing out some Room for Improvement:
Although it's hard to complain about a 45-point blowout win, we'll give it a shot.
Our defensive rebounding was dreadful. We gave up a whopping 20 offensive boards to a team that was significantly smaller. That can't happen. Silver lining: B.J. Hayes didn't play and Derrickson was still a bit hobbled, so reinforcements are coming.
And while we're complaining, it's worth noting that we looked a little lethargic at the start of the second half. I know, I know. We were up 30. But still....
And Jessie Govan's hands.....
Ok, we're done.
The Change.org Award for Citizenship in Action:
You asked for the kente pattern on the court and you got it. Most rational human beings didn't really care, but your endless preaching led to positive and meaningful change. You deserve recognition for your efforts. And you are now hereby nominated to lead a nationwide effort to convince state electors to not submit votes in favor of the person who shall not be named.
The Ra's al Ghul Award for Destroying Everything to Realize your True Potential Award:
Last season was awful. There's no way to sugarcoat it. But sometimes, when things are a little too rosy, you need to hit rock bottom to restore the normal balance and order or things. I'm not sure who the League of Shadows on the Hilltop is, but there's something there.
Also, I'm not sure if this country has hit rock bottom yet and I don't want to f*cking think about it anymore.
Your 2016-17 Georgetown Hoyas.
Dude, we're so deep. I think it's fair to say that LENGTH has been replaced with DEPTH. Against USC-Upstate, we had ten guys play ten or more minutes. I don't remember the last time that happened. Has it ever? I usually get excited when we have eight guys playing ten or more minutes. We just did it with TEN dudes AND BRADLEY HAYES IS STILL ON THE BENCH.
I'm straight-up giddy.
The Michael Graham Award for Playing Exactly One Season and Leading Georgetown to the Promised Land:
In 1984, in his one and only magical season on the Hilltop, Michael Graham led your Hoyas to their one and only national championship. Rodney Pryor is only eligible for one year. But he's hungry. I'm not saying that he's going to carry this team to the promised land. But I'm not going to NOT say it, either. Just stay level-headed, Rodney. We need you to do more than just score. (But we'll also take 32 points whenever you wanna give it.)
The Robert Zemeckis Award for Making Scary Predictions about the Future Award:
Back to the Future 2.
First, the Cubs win the World Series. The movie was only off by one year. And then, a casino magnate takes control of this country in a bizarro turn of events that could only have happened with a time machine and Vladimir Putin. Zemeckis called that sh*t too, with his bizarro alt-universe Biff. WTF IS NEXT? Flying trains? Machines that turn garbage into gasoline? Are the Libyans coming back? Somebody call Doc Brown right the f*ck now and tell him I need SCIENCE to explain all of this for me. And I also need a big g-d-damn hug.
[SwordOfBrunner note: Demolition Man also works. I hope you all like Taco Bell.]
Look. It's been a long week for everyone. I'm not sure if it's more shocking that (he who shall not be named) won the electoral college, or that JTIII just allowed the Hoyas to run and gun. If we take solace in anything, it's this: if our country is heading for the apocalypse, at least Georgetown just won by 45 points. And when all is said and done, if I can't go to heaven, take me back to Georgetown.
Basketball has blissfully returned to our nation's capital. We're f*cking ready for the Terps. Are you?
Let's go Hoyas. Beat Maryland.