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The Casual Awards - Skyline Chili is Trash

Hi guys.  What's shakin'?  While you were feeling the BERN and wondering whether Steven Avery murdered that poor girl, we were dancing in the streets of Cincinnati (just kidding, we would never willingly go there), as your BARKING BULLDOGS put on a dazzling performance against Xavier to make us FINALLY feel pretty good about our terrible lives. Before we turn the page to our old sweethearts from Storrs, we once against celebrate and vilify those most deserving. Unlike this year's Oscars, our version of the Awards might actually include a few nominations of African-Americans. Away we go....

You Can Do Anything Award:

Your Georgetown Hoyas.

This has been a rough season, and I don't think anyone expected us to get a W in Cincinnati.  Vegas certainly didn't, we were 10 point ‘dogs.

The team's response:  SCREW THAT NEGATIVITY, MAN.

The Chris Wright Heart of a Champion Award:

Lil’ Tre Campbell.

tre can i live

[updated image, thanks talkin bout practice]

Tre put together the finest effort of his young career, and the team seemed to feed off of his performance.  With Isaac Copeland suffering through another tough shooting performance, Tre led all scorers with a career high 21 points, including a stellar 5 of 7 from 3FG.  If teams need to respect us from the perimeter and can’t sag off of players on the wing, it opens up a ton of things for your Hoyas on the inside.  Tre earned that respect early, and it was essential to tonight’s victory.  My guy Tre hit four threes in the last few minutes of the first half and the Hoyas never looked back.  What's the best way to beat that 1-3-1 defense?  Keep hitting those corner threes....

I don’t know much about things, but I do know that nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say, but nothing comes out when they moves their lips, just a bunch of gibberish, and motherf*ckers act like they FORGOT ABOUT TRE.

Welcome back, young man.  Also, Tre has a message for you guys:

The Goldeneye Sniper Award:


D’Vauntes Smith-Rivera.


While Tre was hitting shots in the flow of our offense for the most part, there were times our offense struggled to get an open look.  DSR buried a number of clutch threes, some from NBA range, to bail us out when we needed them the most.  Was anybody surprised?  I mean, that’s just what DSR does.  DSR = Drive, Score, Repeat (h/t WILLIAM RAFTERY).

[SwordOfBrunner note:  shout out to Casual commenter soya for saying DSR = Drink, Sob, Repeat at this point.  If we still did the Jim Nantz Award, you would win in a landslide]

[NYHoya note: I'd actually give the award to the casual blogger who decided to play video games instead of watching our game at Xavier.  Your strategy worked, my dude.  Keep playing those games.]

The Dennis Rodman Award for Playing Defense and Cleaning Glass:


The Georgetown Hoyas.

Xavier is the best rebounding team in the conference, and the Muskies outrebound their opponents by an average of 5.6 per game. In fact, the Musketeers had not been outrebounded all year.

Until today.

Bolstered by a defensive performance that held Xavier to 35% shooting, which was vital considering Xavier turned the ball over a minuscule 5 times, the Hoyas corralled 32 errant Musketeer attempts, en route to a 39-35 overall edge.

The "Was That a Fart?" Award:

The iPhone.

Anybody else discover that when you type in "James Farr" in a text box, the auto-correct feature changes it to "James Farts"?  I laughed the first couple of times, and then it just got annoying.  But then I remembered that farts are always funny, so I laughed again and again.

The In-N-Out Burger Double Double Award:


LJ Peak.

LJ peak

LJ Peak came into the game, immediately committed a foul and a turnover, and some of my less casual fellow Hoya fans were calling for him to be removed from the game.

Luckily, JT3 doesn’t listen to any of us jamokes, as Peak settled down and responded with his best game of the season. He posted a double double with 13 points and 10 boards.

At a somewhat critical juncture of the game, with the score 56-50 around the 10 minute mark of the second half, Peak coolly buried a 3, then blocked a shot on the perimeter which led to him dunking the other way, pushing the lead back to 11. Weathering the storm is something we did not do against Duke and Maryland, and Peak helped reverse that trend during last night's game.

He also contributed some some very good defense (his second block brought a tear to my eye).  He still has to cut down on the turnovers (he had 5 of the team’s 11), but all in all, a very good night for LJ.  Know what we need against UConn?


[SwordOfBrunner note:  Shake Shack is better.]

The Kareem Abdul Ja-Bradley Hayes Award:

Bradley Hayes.

When he feels like it, he just drops hooks on people left and right.  Because that's just what Kareem Abdul Ja-Bradley does.

[NY Hoya note for BJ: Please stop leaving your feet on defense, my dude.  You are a seven foot juggernaut who doesn't need to jump.  When you leave your feet, you foul.  Just hang back and use your height and facial hair to intimidate people.  No need to jump for my love.  I just want you to not foul out.]

[SwordOfBrunner note:  His mama name 'em Lew, I'ma call 'em Lew.]

The Martin Shkreli Award for Being Terrible AND Having a REALLY Punchable Face:


JP Macura.


I’m not saying that JP Macura would buy a patent on drugs that treat AIDS and then raise its price by a factor of 50...but I’m also not saying that he wouldn’t.

I do know that he plays dirty, and he dragged my boy LJ Peak down by the waist and sold it to the refs as a double foul.  Also, look at him!

Go away, JP Macura, nobody likes you.

(NYHoya note: isn’t the nickname "JP" reserved for beefy high school jocks who get all the girls until they’re 21 and then get really fat and become alcoholics?  Am I wrong about this?  I mean, JP Stevens was probably the most casual of all of the JPs out there, but he’s gotta be the exception to this rule, right?  Going off on a tangent, how many of you knew that JP Stevens attended the Babe Ruth game at Wrigley in which Ruth called his own shot?  Or that Charles Lindbergh gave Stevens a dove as a gift?  These little tidbits have nothing to do with Georgetown basketball, but I still find them to be fascinating...)

[SwordOfBrunner note:  WUT?]

The "Jessie Is a Friend…" Award

Jessie Govan.


Jessie only played 17 minutes due to some foul trouble, yet still managed to score 13 points, block 2 shots, grab 6 boards and run the floor like Shaq in his prime.

Also, this is not hyperbole, he may be the guy I most want at the free throw line with the game on the line.

This dude is a freshman.

We are all Jesse’s Girls.  

P.S. -

The Guard U Award:


Enough of Big Man U and Wing U.  And stop spreading this myth that guards can't thrive in Georgetown's "system".  DSR and Tre just combined for 41 points and looked really good and stuff.  So all of you haters can just pipe down.  We had 21 assists on 26 field goals.  Our offense looked....good?  Fluid?  Fun?

Young guards still in high school: COME PLAY FOR US.  You can do it!  We're FUN and FLUID and FANTASTIC.

The Wisemiller’s Super Sub Award:


Trey Mourning.

Jesse Govan and Bradley Hayes both picked up 3 fouls early with 18 minutes left in the the 2nd half, and both had been pretty key cogs in the Hoyas offense up to that point.

And then Young Trey Mourning checked in to get us to the under 16 mark, and in just over 2 minutes of action he blocked a shot, snagged an offense board, scored from the FT line, and dropped a beautiful dime to Tre Campbell who was cutting backdoor for an assist.

Mourning and Doc Derrickson were ready when their numbers were called, and though it doesn’t show up in the box score, they were key contributors in tonight’s victory.  Trey was basically a chicken madness.  Marcus was a good ol’ fashioned Peggy’s Special.

The DSR Award for Just Bringing it Every Damn Night:


He just brings it every damn night.  After torching St. John’s for a career-high 33 points and leading the Hoyas with 15 points against Nova, our guy D’Vauntes just chipped in with a cool 20 points and seven sweet ass assists.

If you’re scoring at home, he’s now in the top ten among all time Georgetown scorers and #2 on the career threes list. But none of this is unusual.  It’s just what he does.

The JTIII Award for Well Placed Humble Brags:


After last night's game, he tells Bill Raftery something like "I had a feeling we'd be speaking to you after the game."  JTIII's quotes are so awesome when we're winning and so painfully empty and offensive when we're losing.

Image result for humble brag

The Stan Kroenke Award for Having No Moral Compass or Soul:


Coack K.

Stan the Man Kroenke gets all the hate last week for moving the Rams to LA even though he’s a native Missourian.  And Coack K joins him this week for whining and crying for the lack of a whistle at the end of Duke’s devastating loss to Syracuse at home on Saturday.  He was so upset that he chose to whine and cry rather than shake our buddy Jim B’s hand.

"The last play is amazing," Krzyzewski told reporters after the game. "Have you seen it? Go see it. It is literally amazing. The play with Matt Jones at the foul line. It is amazing basketball. Let's just put it that way."  Y’know, for a guy who has five rings and every single coaching accolade he could ever want, he’s still a whiny jerkface.  In fact, he is LITERALLY a whiny jerkface.  Go hang out with Stan Kroenke and try to figure out a way to not lose your fourth consecutive game to an unranked opponent, Coach Whiny Jerkface.

[SwordOfBrunner rebuttal:  Stan Kroenke has a top 5 sports mustache and also employs Arsene Wenger, how bad can he be?]

arsene guitar

The "Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover" Award:

worst book ever

Your Georgetown Hoyas.

Anybody look at the box score?  How many of you realized that Reggie, Isaac and Marcus combined for four points on 1 of 10 shooting?  Basketball is such a crazy game.  Three guys in our regular rotation barely manage to score and we still end up running away with a game on the road against a team that had yet to lose in its own building all year.

To be fair, even though Reggie’s shot wasn’t going down, he had one of his more complete games of the season. Chipping in five rebounds and five assists, along with some pretty good defense, RC5 showed some poise out there.

The Ladies Man Award for Greco-Roman Wrestling:

L.J. Peak and JP Macura.

Two tangled tussles on the hardwood?  Love the intensity, fellas.  We particularly enjoyed when JP locked arms with LJ and tackled him to the ground.  It only brought one thing to mind: Will Ferrell's masterful performance in, dare I say, one of the most underrated comedies of all time?

The Sarah Palin Please Join the Party Award:

Isaac Copeland.


Look, I had to crowbar this Vine in somehow, because it’s just majestic.

That being said, Isaac Copeland, I know things aren’t going so well on the court of late, my dude.  You look kind of tentative on offense, maybe not wanting to force things.  I get it.  Every season has its peaks and troughs.

But...if we’re going to build off of this win, we need you to join the party.

Also, we’re way more fun to watch when you’re doing stuff like this.

Go watch that Key & Peele sketch at the top again if you need a confidence boost.

Ain’t nothin’ figurative about this, you will turn into a robot.

[NYHoya Note: Isaac has been playing like Peeta from the last  Hunger Games flick.  It's like he has some tracker jackers in his brain or something.  The good news is that Isaac, just like Peeta, will be saved by the MOCKING-TRE.  And with a little confidence boost, Cope and Tre will become the unstoppable love birds that they were always destined to be.]

[SwordOfBrunner note:  Yes, I question my friendship with NYHoya on a pretty much daily basis.]

The Dr. Strangelove (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Lack of Facial Hair) Award:


We’ve speculated for weeks about what’s been ailing this team.  Are our guys too young and inexperienced?  Do we have too many one-dimensional players?  Do we miss above-average defenders like Jabril, AB and Comrade?  Are we recruiting the wrong guys?  Is it our system?  Why don't we employ a pack line defense?  How can we possibly play well against a 1-3-1?  What is JTIII doing wrong?

The short answer to all of these questions is that JTIII shaved his damn moustache and everything went to shit.  JTIII without a ‘stache is like seeing Super Mario without a moustache.


(And how the f*ck is Super Mario supposed to inspire Luigi, Toad and the Princess to defeat King Koopa and Bowser without his ‘stache?)  It’s just weird to see.  Our guess is that it took this year’s Hoyas several weeks to adjust to the lack of facial hair (it’s a lot easier to respect a man who has a 'stache).  For weeks, as some of you questioned JTIII’s coaching philosophy, his offensive sets or his demeanor on the sidelines, we knew all along that this team’s woes have everything to do with the lack of hair above JTIII’s lip.

On Tuesday night in Cincy, your Hoyas finally adjusted to JTIII’s face and put in a solid performance.  They handled the 1-3-1 smoothly, executed an effective press to slow down Xavier’s offense late in the game, and outrebounded the best rebounding team in the conference en route to a SMOOTH victory.  No thanks to that missing moustache.

The "Master of None" Award for Hip New Shows on the TV:

Coaches Table on the Big Ten Network.

I was physically and emotionally exhausted after our uplifting win in Cincy, so I decided to just kick it on the couch for a few minutes to regularize my breathing.  On  the Big Ten Network, I discovered our familiar announcer friend, Steve Lavin, inviting me to come join him for dinner and a conversation with a few legendary Big Ten coaches.  The show was surprisingly entertaining.  Want to hear Jud Heathcote's thoughts about what it was like to coach Scott Skiles as he eats a heaping chunk of ribeye?  YES PLEASE.

I want this show on FS1.  We need our guy Bill Raftery drinking and dining with Pops, Rollie and Louie as they all guzzle courvoisier and talk shit about Boeheim and Pitino.  I would watch that show every night of the week.

Image result for courvoisier

The Rob Gronkowski Is Just A Fun Loving Bro and Cam Newton Is the Devil Award:


Cam Newton dances after a TD and there are letters to the editor about what a classless punk he is. He even got shit for having a baby out of wedlock with his live in girlfriend.

Go Panthers.

[NYHoya note:  I hope Tom Brady gets hit by a bus.  A big bus.  Because I hate him.]

The DJ Khaled Award for Winning:


I mean, it's freezing and windy out there and I'm walking around without a hat (BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO MESS UP MY HAIR) and opening up Spotify (WITHOUT HEADPHONES BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A F*CK) and playing this little gem for the masses.  Because right now, all we, all we, all we do is F*CKING WIN, WIN, WIN.  Y'all better count us in.

The Kate Upton Award for Doing Kate Upton Things:

kate upton 1

Let's go Hoyas.  Beat UConn.