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The Heckler's Guide to the Villanova Wildcats

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You deserve to scream after what you've seen from the Hoyas this season. Why not take it out on a classic conference rival?

Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

It’s been a tough season thus far for us Georgetown Hoyas faithful. If you’ve watched the Hoyas this season, you’ve had to watch this team chronically leave three-point shooters open, let undersized guards slash and dash through the paint, and pass the ball around the arc for 25 seconds with what appears to be no direction whatsoever. There have been ups and downs, but there have been a lot more downs than nearly any of us expected. You deserve to vent. To shout, and scream, and purge yourself of the misery. If you happen to be in the DC area (or even near a TV set, computer, or radio,) why not take it out on archrival and #7-ranked team in the country Villanova?

As always, I understand that many of you know the full history of Georgetown’s battles with its longtime conference rival, but since some fans may not know, we’ll go through this as always as a reminder.

Why Villanova is Terrible: Your Rivalry Refresher

OK, so first off, this comes with a caveat. Villanova is not Syracuse. Their ethics are much more in check and they stayed with us in the Big East, so there’s some respect due to the Kittens for that. But, good lord, they are a pain to play. Villanova notoriously upset Georgetown in the 1985 National Championship thanks to some incredibly high field goal percentages (and players, for that matter.) They also have reportedly forced some of our fans out of their arena and sell shirts in their bookstore that say "Friends don’t let friends go to Georgetown." How dare they try to rob potential future Hoyas of the Georgetown experience! Those damn Augustinians!

In more recent years, the Kittens have consistently had a player who seems to have played for them forever. Scottie Reynolds, the timeless Villanova institution, reportedly graduated in 2010, but I’m pretty sure he still plays a key role in ‘Nova’s starting lineup. Wikipedia lists his current team as "Enel Brindisi," but I’m pretty sure that’s a codename for Villanova. I’m also reasonably sure current "senior" Ryan Arcidiacono was on one of those Kerry Kittles-led teams in the ‘90s. Freshman guard Jalen Brunson will likely be playing for Villanova until the machines rise and Judgment Day occurs.

The Guide Itself

Villanova coach Jay Wright, a two-time winner of something called the "Fashionable Four," may be too busy treating the edge of the court like a runway to get his team out of the first weekend of the NCAA Tournament. He also bears at least a passing resemblance to Sterling Archer, the namesake of the hilarious and acerbic FX show (who also happens to have graduated from Georgetown.

Senior guard and journalists’ spell check nightmare Ryan Arcidiacono is just one of those guys. You know, the one who, for reasons you can't explain, is just really easy to designate as the player who you dislike. For all you know, he could be an incredibly nice guy, but when he's on the court, you just can’t stand him. You might want to punch him in the face (or if you're former Seton Hall guard Sterling Gibbsdrop the People's Elbow on his forehead.) It might be because he won Big East Player of the Year last year while putting up just 10.1 points and 3.6 assists per game while being arguably the third-best player on his own team! Or it might be because he tries to imitate Zoolander while going to the basket. Still, he plays for the other team, and will probably take at least one open three-point attempt. That’s reason enough.

Junior guard (and former Georgetown target) Josh Hart has been leading the way for the Kittens in a breakout season, putting up 15.5 points and 6.8 rebounds per game while also shooting 54 percent from the field and just under 37 percent from three. But we’re talking about a guy who likes The Notebook. A lot. As in he has dedicated at least two tweets to the film. Plus he went to high school at Sidwell Friends here in DC, so maybe see if President Obama gave him some basketball pointers, because apparently POTUS has been known to coach the middle school girls’ team there on occasion.

Freshman point guard Jalen Brunson has taken up a prominent role in Villanova’s rotation scoring 10.7 points per game but you almost have to feel sorry for the guy. His father, NBA vet Rick Brunson, basically tortured Jalen into becoming a basketball star before he (Rick, that is) was arrested. But if you read the piece linked in this paragraph, you’ll find out that heckling him about his father's arrest is something that opposing high school fans tried to do. It didn't work and actually just motivates him, so I’d recommend sticking to making fun of him for the fact that he wore basketball sneakers to his senior prom.

Also, not sure if you’ve ever noticed this, but before Monmouth’s bench was a thing Villanova had a bench mob of their own. Former walk-ons and current reserves Henry Lowe and Patrick Farrell, owners of a combined three points this season, have become known for their celebrations, even if they use less choreography than the vaunted Monmouth bench. Why not shout at them for focusing more on celebrations than trying to gain playing time?

But who needs an excessive bench mob if you have a full crowd of raucous, excited fans? It helped last month vs. the dreaded Cuse and should help Saturday. If you’re an alum or just a fan, come. If you are a student, you better come. If you know a student, compel them to come. See you Saturday for what will hopefully be a great game and a big win! Hoya Saxa!

P.S. Also, please, for the love of God, don't storm the court if we win.