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The Casual Awards: Jimmy B is Home Alone

Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

Hi there.  It's us again.  While you were trying to decide between Iron Horse and Penn Social for a celebratory night cap, we were toiling away at the latest and greatest edition of the Casual Awards.  In honor of our beloved Jimmy B.'s decision on where to watch Saturday's contest

we're giving you a special holiday movie-themed edition of the Awards, interspersed of course with some of the usual kind.

jim b home alone

"Keep the change, ya filthy animal."

The Chris Wright Heart of a Champion Award:

Bradley Hayes!

Has any player undergone such a radical transformation in one offseason as our own Bradley Hayes?  His turn in last year's NCAA tournament seemed to be a Hail Mary answered, and his success against Eastern Washington was considered by many, myself included, to be a product of simply feasting on an undersized opponent.

Now?  The dude is flexing on people (SwordOfBrunner note:  I wanted to give him the Mad Cobra Award for Flexing), turning in DOMINANT performances against Radford, Maryland and Syracuse.

hayes flex

Our guy Rutherford put up a very solid 21 points and eight rebounds in only 28 minutes of action.  At this point, B. Hayes is basically George Mikan.  His defensive woes aside, Bradley has proven that he can be a force down low.  Being 7'1 helps.  So what if he can't jump?  Just put your hands up, big fella, and keep swatting shots and hitting those baby hooks. Sam Tilden just called to acknowledge that he's no longer the most popular kid in town.  It's you, Rutherford.  All you.

Opposing frontlines, be warned:  you are all the Little Nero's Delivery Guy from here on out.|

little nero's pizza guy

"See that garbage can full of salt? That's where he keeps his victims. The salt turns the bodies... into mummies."

old man marley

The Swiss Army Knife Award for Versatility goes to Isaac Copeland, who, despite only taking 9 shots in a game high 36 minutes, seemed to be everywhere on offense.  His offball movement was integral to Georgetown's success against the zone, and his length and rotations on the perimeter helped keep Syracuse's perimeter game in check.

In addition to that, iCope provided the highlight of the game when he went straight up Old Man Marley in posterizing Syracuse freshman Tyler Lydon with a dunk off a pretty dish from the Young Man, Tre Campbell, to put the Hoyas up 19 before the under 12 timeout.

copeland dunk syracuse

Mr. Lydon now lives in iCope's proverbial garbage can full of salt.


Somewhat related...Jeff Green did this over the weekend.

The Opposite of the Wet Bandits Award:

Georgetown's frontline.

wet bandits

While Harry and Marv bumbled their way through Kevin McCallister's sadistic maze of horror before getting caught by Old Man Marley while threatening to bite off Kevin's fingers [that movie is way darker than I remembered], Georgetown's big men navigated their adversary's defenses with aplomb.

Time and again, the ball would come into the free throw line, usually to Marcus Derrickson, Isaac Copeland, or Bradley Hayes, and some nifty passing led to great looks all game -  both on the perimeter and inside the paint.

Georgetown shot 48% from the field, and ⅔ of Hoya buckets came off of assists.

"This is it, don't get scared now.."

The Take Charge Award goes to Doc Derrickson.

Coming into the 2nd half with a 12 point lead, creeping in the back of my mind were the Maryland and Duke games, where we allowed both to go on quick runs that turned what looked like victories into defeats.  Maryland scored 21 points in the last 4:28 of the game against us (and we turned a seven point lead into a four point loss during that stretch).  Duke scored 19 points in the first 4:36 of the second half to turn a seven point deficit into a seven point lead.

Doc Derrickson, perhaps aware of this diagnosis as a basketball physician, was having none of that.  In the first 2 ½ minutes of the 2nd half, the freshman took 2 charges, hit an NBA range 3, added another bucket, and, along with a 3 pointer by iCope, helped push the lead to 20 points.  The Hoyas did eventually let up a miniburst to Syracuse that narrowed the lead to 9, but we had an incredible amount of breathing room, and weathered the storm.

"You're what the French call ‘les incompetents'."


Trevor Cooney, hope you managed to pack your own suitcase back to Syracuse, as you only shot 25% from FG for the game (3 for 12 overall, 3 for 9 from 3FG).  This is what the French call, imprécis [i had to look that up on Google translate].

You're just not as good as your feisty sharp-shooting Caucasian forebears.

[The McCallister family is terrible.  Who calls their 3rd grade brother incompetent for not knowing how to pack his own shit?  Asshole.]

"This is my house.  I have to defend it."

boeheim tifo

The Homecourt Advantage Award goes to All of us.

The fans were great, the student section was packed, Jack the Bulldog brought his A game, Rich Chvotkin was humming sweet tunes, the Stonewalls were on fire, and oh yeah, the players recognized the significance of the game and stepped up big time.  Way to go, everyone.

"I hope that I never see any of you jerks again!"

home alone i hope i never see you again

Syracuse fans. Syracuse fans in the Verizon Center.  Syracuse fans at Clyde's.  Syracuse fans walking the streets of D.C.  Just, Syracuse fans.

You're worse than the McCallister family, which is one of the worst families on earth.

You're like an army of Buzz, and your jerseys match his hair.

Go away.  Nobody likes you.

"I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine."

Little Tre gets the Kevin McCallister Award because he's all growns up.  It was great to see the YOUNG MAN looking like his old self on Saturday.  In 26 minutes of action, he hit a nice runner in the lane and picked up three steals while dishing out three assists.  We missed him earlier this year.  When L.J. picked up an early second foul, the Mocking Tre filled in seamlessly, while providing the Hoyas with a little more steadiness in the backcourt.  Good to have you back, young fella.

"Hey, I'm not afraid any more! I said I'm not afraid any more! Do you hear me? I'm not afraid any more!"

The NEVER SCARED Award goes to...the Georgetown Hoyas.

Look, we lost to a mediocre team and then we lost a couple of heartbreakers to top-flight competition, but let me tell you something: there are no dominant teams in the country this year.  Like, none.  UCLA dominated Kentucky, but UCLA also lost to Monmouth.  Carolina beat up Maryland, but Carolina also lost to Northern Iowa.  I'm not scared of any of these teams.  I'm really not.

Don't get me wrong, we should respect all of our opponents, given our tendency to play up/down to our competition, but this team can play with anyone.

Given what we've seen thus far, I'm not worried about facing a presumptive power at any point.

There may come a time when they're worried about facing us.

The Buzz, Your Girlfriend, Woof Award:

boeheim woof

Syracuse.  Your depth.  Woof.

Seven deep?  Yikes.  It's almost like you were fielding a team with a reduced number of scholarships because of years of institutional corruption or something.

Also, just wanted to point out that the Hoyas bench pitched a shutout in the first half, 11-0.  At the risk of belaboring the point...we're deep.

"Look what you did, you little jerk!"

This is clearly what this rivalry's resident Uncle Frank, Jim Boeheim, would have told Mike Hopkins after Saturday's very one-sided display of Hoya domination.  Too bad he's not allowed to call, text or e-mail him.  He'll have to keep the shame he feels to himself.

The George Costanza Award for Crying From Home Alone:

Mike Hopkins. Did y'all see the post-game presser?  It sounded like a memorial service.  "He's always with us, at the end of the day,'' Hopkins said. "He built the program.''  According to multiple reports, "Hopkins' voice trailed off. Tears welled up and his eyes reddened."

WHY ARE YOU CRYING?  Jim Boeheim isn't dead.  He was just home alone watching the game in his probably unfinished basement.

"I wanted this one for him tonight,'' Hopkins said.  "Imagine if someone came and all of a sudden said that you can't talk to your father for a month,'' Hopkins said. "And they live down the street. That's tough. But we'll get through it. We've been through a lot.  I'll tell you one thing, Coach Boeheim is one of the greatest people when you're dealing with adversity,'' Hopkins said.

Again, what the hell are you talking about?  Adversity?  Nobody got hurt.  No one died.  Your head coach was suspended for a measly nine games BECAUSE YOU CHEATED FOR SEVERAL YEARS.  Stop crying and take your damn punishment like a man.  Enough of this "we shall overcome" nonsense.

I mean, they chose to honor Boeheim by keeping an open seat for him on the team bus, the plane and the bench. Melodramatic much?  The dude is still alive, you guys.  Settle down with all of your "us against the world" mentality.  And if you insist on pushing this false narrative, that's fine too.  Because either way, you lost.  DEAL WITH IT.

"Have a good trip, bring me back something French"

The Mitch Murphy Award for root cause of international hijinks goes to the London Alumni Club, in particular MSB ‘02 grad Justin Schellenger, for organizing a game watch overseas.  About 25 Hoyas were able to watch Georgetown's triumph while explaining to a confused bunch of Brits that college sports are a thing in America, and that Syracuse is a place that is somehow worse than Birmingham.

"I have been awake for almost 60 hours. I'm tired and I'm dirty."

me on sunday

SwordOfBrunner on Sunday

Whether you were in London or NYC or Spain or our nation's capital, Saturday was a good day.  A very good day.  And if you didn't wake up tired and dirty on Sunday morning, you're doing it wrong.

"You can be too old for a lot of things, but you're never too old to be afraid."

old man marley afraid

We're flying high right now, but Old Man Marley makes a great point, and wins the award for PRESUMPTIVE SERIAL KILLER WHO ACTUALLY IS AN ALRIGHT DUDE WITH PEARLS OF WISDOM TO SHARE.

With nine eminently winnable games on our schedule coming up, I can't help but feel terrified about the upcoming slate of contests.  Brown just crushed Bryant, Monmouth beat up UCLA, USC and Notre Dame, and NEWSFLASH: sometimes your Hoyas play down to the level of their opponents.  So yeah, some of us may be old, but it doesn't mean we can't be AFRAID AS HELL of losing to inferior teams.  Our quota for bad losses was filled on the first day of the season.  No more let-downs, fellas.

The Mike Dexter from "Can't Hardly Wait" Award for Completely Misjudging Life After High School:

Syracuse University. Wrong movie, I know.  But in the run-up to Saturday's showdown all I could think about was how much Syracuse's program now resembles Mike Dexter's character from the movie "Can't Hardly Wait."  Mike was so excited to go to college and hook up with super hot women that he decided, wrongly, to break up with Amanda Beckett just before graduation.  Which led to one of the greatest confrontations in schlocky late 90s film history: "Who's gonna want you now, Aman-DUH??!!!"  And the answer: somebody, or in her case, everybody because she was JENNIFER FREAKING LOVE HEWITT.

Syracuse is Mike Dexter.  You think you're hot shit with your fancy football team and ESPN connections and bags full of cash, and you craved that big jump to the ACC.  And what has that done for you?  You have no natural rival, you're a mediocre team in an overrated conference, and you get to spend your weekends in Winston Salem and Greenville. Congrats!  You're Trip McNeely.  And you have fungus all over your feet from the shower.

Wait, does this analogy imply that Georgetown is Amanda Beckett?  Yes, and I'm fine with that.  We were a super hot team in the old Big East and, somehow, we're still just as hot (and now more mature and sophisticated) in the new Big East, a conference full of basketball purists who don't give a damn about college football meatheads like Mike Dexter.

Georgetown is like Gwyneth, but with bigger boobs.  And Syracuse is no Brad Pitt.

The Random, Rambling Tangent Award for Using "Can't Hardly Wait" in a "Home Alone" Themed Awards:


See you soon, pal

- SwordOfBrunner

"Can I sleep in your room? I don't want to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed."

TexaHoya. He's the Fuller of this lunch documentation basketball blog.


speaking of Texas...

"This is *Christmas*! The season of perpetual hope!"

We're really good this year.  See you jerks in Houston.  

houston skyline