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The Casual Awards: Everybody Dance Now!

While you were deflating footballs and celebrating Coach K’s thousandth win, we were chowing down on Japanese rice bowls and churning out a little Sunday night version of the SAG-preferred Casual Awards. In advance of a big rematch against The Stain Train and those hated foes from the Queen City, we once again celebrate and vilify all of those most deserving.

Chris Wright Heart of a Champion Award:

Isaac Muthaf*cking Copeland.

We could have gone in a number of different directions with this one, but my man Ike is getting the nod for the first time all season.  Playing in a career-high 37 minutes, Cope tied his career-high with 17 points and also poured in a very solid six rebounds, four assists and two blocks.  Ike was everywhere on Saturday, as he hit a three, rotated well on offense, pulled down some boards and even played a little better on defense.

With about a minute to go in the second half, Ike picked up a loose ball and went straight to the basket for a quick floater to give the Hoyas a three point lead.  He just decided to take over.  The kid has now had three straight solid games and is brimming with confidence.  He is on the verge of becoming one of those infamous "complete" players.  AND THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING.  I just felt it move.

Toyota Peak Performer Award:

Tre Campbell. Obvi.  With Jabril Trawick nursing a sore knee, we needed a guy to play the lead role at the point; not surprisingly, JTIII went with the YOUNG MAN to fill the void and get some run.  He did not disappoint.  Playing a career-high 28 minutes, Tre threw in a career-high 14 points, four rebounds, and one gigantic, earth-shattering, put-your-balls-on-the-floor baseline three at the end of overtime to seal the victory for the Hoyas.

My man TC played like a seasoned veteran on Saturday, as he hit a couple of shots from beyond the arc, played aggressive (sometimes too aggressive?) perimeter defense, made all four of his free throws and hit a running one-hander at the end of the first half to extend the Hoyas’ lead.  We all know Tre can play; it was just a matter of time before the rest of the conference could see it too.  It’s time for the world to stand up and respect our favorite little MOCKING-TRE.

The Inaugural Brandon Bowman Award for Having Big Feet:

Matt Carlino. Sorry, my dude, I guess your feet are just a little too big.

The Round Mound of Rebound Award:

Joshua Smith.

Whoever said this dude was only the fourth best rebounder on the team should be taken out to the backyard and shot. The Joshington Monument had a very chill 18 points, 15 rebounds, two assists and two steals.  It’s pretty obvious that our win at Marquette might have been Copeland and Campbell’s respective best games of the season, but maybe we should also be praising the big fella for his strongest showing as a Hoya.  Was this his best game ever as a Hoya?  Maybe.  I loved watching Joshua out there.  Against a very small Marquette frontcourt, Joshua kept bulling his way to the basket, knocking down his throws and beasting on the boards.

Over the weekend, there was a monster truck event at the Verizon Center (f’realz, there was), and I was half expecting a promo featuring the Monument.  Give us this Joshua every damn game.  EVERY DAMN GAME.

The Reggie Miller Award for Pushing Off Before Every Shot:

Matt Carlino.

The Ollie Award for Hitting our Damn Free Throws:

The Georgetown Hoyas.  We hit 28 of 32 free throws (87.5%).  If  we don’t hit our free throws in this game, we lose.  Plain and simple.  Everyone shot well.  Joshua hit six of seven, DSR hit four of five, Isaac hit two of three, Tre hit all four, and my guy MIKAIL hit 11 of 12.

All of you idiots can keep whining and crying about Comrade missing all six of his free throws against Providence. Whatever.  Mikael’s just gonna work hard, do his thing, and improve his game.  Comrade doesn’t care what you or anyone else thinks.  He’s put more bodies in the ground than you can possibly imagine.  And he plays chess a lot better than you cheer.  I would tell you to lay off Comrade, but really, he doesn’t give a damn what you think.  So for now, sit back, relax and enjoy the free throw perestroika.

[SwordOfBrunner edit:  Hopkins is playing about 20 minutes a game.  Copeland has played as much or more than him the last 3 games.  White is getting regular minutes.  There shouldn't be many complaints about minutes/starting lineups/etc.]

The Worldwide Leader in Crappy Broadcasting Award:

We find it kind of hilarious that ESPN didn’t even get to broadcast Coach K’s thousandth win.  Fox Sports 1 has far better coverage anyway, so it’s all good.  Kevin Burkhardt, Donny Marshall and Wojo?  Yes please.  (By the way, what the hell was Wojo doing in the studio?  I’ve heard that he and Coach K like rubbing sun tan lotion on each other’s backs, but doesn’t Wojo have a team to coach?  The season isn’t over.  If you’re a Marquette fan, coming off of two tough losses, how are you feeling about telegenic Steve celebrating his alma mater?)

The "I Think We’re Alone Now" Award:

Your Georgetown Hoyas.  So I just checked the conference standings again, just for the f*ck of it.  Turns out we are still in first place, by ourselves, all alone, at the top of the standings.  Give me that creepy Tiffany documentary again, please.

[SwordOfBrunner note:  Here's the entire thing.  It's creepier than Buffalo Bill.  You asked for it.]

The "I Hope Tom Brady Gets Hit by a Bus" Award:

Me.  Because that’s what I hope.  That Tom Brady gets hit by a bus.  A big bus.  Because I still hate him.  By the way, how the hell does the NFL interview 40 PEOPLE over this deflated footballs thing and yet NOT INTERVIEW TOM BRADY?!!

Bill Belichick: thanks for letting us know that the Pats have spent several days contacting scientists to learn about the physics of throwing a pigskin in cold weather.  If the balls lost air as a result of the cold weather (if that’s even possible), then so be it.  If not, then Tom Brady obviously had something to do with it.  And he was probably smirking underneath that terrible, cute little beanie cap the whole damn time.

[SwordOfBrunner note:  Bill Nye is calling shenanigans...

also, 2 weeks off between the AFC/NFC title games to the Super Bowl is terrible]

The 35th Annual March of Dimes Award for Dropping Dimes:

We had 21 assists on 29 field goals.  Our ball movement was awesome.  We moved the ball really well.  It says "balls" on your forehead.  "Garden State" is a tremendous flick.

[SwordOfBrunner note:  "Garden State" is terrible.  NYHoya owns Money Train on DVD.  Don't take movie tips from him]

The OMG, SMH Award for Weak Ass Color Commentary:

Dickey Simpkins. It’s not even worth getting into this one, as it has already been covered substantially in the 24 hours after our game.  Suffice it to say that Dickey sounded like an old man who had just been introduced to text messaging.  Hashtag splash.  Hashtag superior performance.  Hashtag sex trafficking.  Hashtag GFY.

[SwordOfBrunner note: Living in London, I have to put up with awful NFL commentary courtesy of Sky Sports provided by a blend of English commentators and NFL players from the 1980s I have never heard of before.  During the Seahawks/Packers game, the studio guys used tennis rackets to show how tall Julius Peppers is compared to Russell Wilson.  I can't express how bad it was in words.  Anyway, the point is, Dickey Simpkins is worse than those guys.  Infinitely.]

The "It’s Not about Whether you Win or Lose, but How you Play the Game" Award for Dumb Clichés:

"It couldn’t have happened to a better man."  This is what Wojo said about Coach K after his old coach, mentor, father figure, friend notched his thousandth win.  Can we just retire this dumb saying already?

Could something like this have happened to a better man?  Yeah, probably.  If Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr. or JTIII or Don Mattingly happened to be on the sideline, I think that yes, such a feat could have happened to a better man.

The Eminem Award for Forgetting about Dre:

Marquette.  Because with a minute to go in overtime, they forgot about Tre.

I don’t know much about things, but I do know that nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say, but nothing comes out when they moves their lips, just a bunch of gibberish, and mother*ckers act like they FORGOT ABOUT TRE.

The More You Know Award:

We had six guys score in double figures against Marquette.  Pop quiz, Hoya sleuths: when was the last time we had six guys score in double figures?

I believe this is now our fourth game in which at least five players have scored in double figures (someone please check). When was the last time we had at least four games in a season in which five Hoyas scored in double figures?  Is this some kind of record?  Is this the deepest Hoya team in the history of everything?

The C and C Music Factory Award:

Copeland and Campbell.  The young ‘uns certainly made us sweat on Saturday, but their stellar play caused everybody to dance now.

The DSR Award for Just Bringing it Every Damn Night:


Remember when we were complaining about this guy’s shot?  After matching Carlino’s five three-pointers with an impressive five three-pointers of his own, DSR continues to dazzle in his off-guard role.  Ever since Jabril and Tre started helping out at the point, DSR has started to find his old rhythm again.  I think it’s fair to say that we would’ve lost handily without DSR on Saturday.  We took Marquette’s best punch in the first half, but we still led by six at the break because DSR was unconscious.

It’s remarkable that we were deciding among Copeland, Campbell and Smith for the "Chris Wright Heart of a Champion" Award, considering that DSR led the Hoyas with 19 points and five assists.  It’s like we’re just taking this guy for granted. The guy deserves more praise.  He’s been a rock all season, and now it’s time to revive all of the once-forgotten Big East Player of the Year chatter.

Oh, I almost forgot.  Turns out that "DSR", among other things, stands for "Deputy Superintendent Rangers", a Pakistan Rangers gazette officer rank equivalent to a captain.  So there’s that.

The Carlito Brigante Award:

Matty Carlino.  That’s two in a row for Carlino in this category.  No need to include a pun involving Carlino’s "way" (a la Dickey Simpkins).  Instead, I’ll just recycle my favorite quote from that movie.

"You think you’re big time?  You gonna f*ckin’ die big time."  I’m sorry, Matthew.  You were ballin’ and doin’ your thing, but your best just wasn’t good enough.  Alas, your fate was the same as that of Carlito Brigante himself.  You almost escaped with a victory, but in the end, your big toe just got in the way.  You forgot about Tre, just like Carlito forgot about Bennie Blanco from the Bronx.  I’ll be glad not to face you in the BET.

The "Coffee Talk with Linda Richman" Award for Speaking Yiddish:

Sandy Cohen. I have a feeling we’re not going to like facing you in the next few years, my dude.  First, you give birth to Seth Cohen on The OC, and now you’ve been reincarnated as a Marquette basketball player.

Between you and me: "A yid hot akht un tsvantsik protsent pakhed, tsvey protsent tsuker, un zibetsik protsent khutspe."  For all of you non-Yiddish speakers, I just told Sandy, "A Jew is twenty-eight percent fear, two percent sugar, and seventy percent chutzpah."

If Matty Carlino is Carlito Brigante, then Sandy Cohen is David Kleinfeld.  It does not end well for either one of these dudes.

The Hmmm Award:

Hmm.  I’m not gonna say that our dramatic, gut-check overtime victory at Marquette reminded me of the last time we had a dramatic, gut-check overtime victory at Marquette (2007-08), or that the Hoyas’ squad that last defeated Marquette on the road also happened to win the Big East regular season title.  Remember when Wallace got fouled shooting three at the end of regulation?  This game was every bit as dramatic and awesome.

The "Come on Down" Award:

Come on down, little Tre, you’re the next contestant on THE PRICE IS RIGHT.  Peak, Paul, Copeland, and now the YOUNG MAN.  Make sure you wager smart, give the wheel a solid spin and keep your damn hands off of Drew Carey’s midsection.

The "Aaron Bowen is a F*cking Pterodactyl" Award:

Aaron Bowen.

He’s a f*cking pterodactyl. With his high-arcing, terrible shots, our man Aaron has morphed from Air Bow to RainBOW.

The Jimmy Boeheim Award for Scheduling Cupcakes:

boeheim nose

Per ESPN, the combined record of Syracuse's first six ACC foes this season was 54-56 overall and 5-29 in league play. The combined record of its next eight opponents, excluding replays with Virginia Tech and Boston College, is 121-31 overall and 34-14 in the league.  Thanks for coming to play against Miami, jerks!

The Diabetes Award for Weekend Gluttony:

I had a Japanese rice bowl at Donburi.  Had some chicken and barbecued eel.  Delicious.

The "Just Saying’" Award:

I’m just saying.  We were down two starters in a hostile environment, against a Marquette team that hit 13 threes, Paul White fouled out, and we still won the damn game.  We don’t usually win these types of games.  I’m just saying.

The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Award:

You guys, we’re STILL in FIRST PLACE.  C’mon everybody, let’s do the hot dog dance!  Sing it with me: HOT DOG, HOT DOG, HOT DIGGITY DOG…..

Jim Nantz Award for In-Game Commentary:

Here are a few casual nuggets from the last game thread.  Upset that your witty posts didn’t make the cut?  Write something funny or insightful next time, jerks.

I wonder if those 3 white guys on DePaul's bench

work on choreography during practice instead of basketball

by LeftyHookerintheLane on Jan 24, 2015 | 12:56 PM

Someone needs to get a hold Jabril's tracks and share them to the world

I bet they’re pretty decent

by Mr.DMV on Jan 24, 2015 | 2:28 PM

I want to punch Carlino in his taint

by Horchata Hoya on Jan 24, 2015 | 2:43 PM

"can you say hashtag splash?"

really? are you kidding me?

I unabashedly have a man-crush on John Klingberg

Adrian Beltre HOF Class of 2022

by TexaHoya on Jan 24, 2015 | 2:44 PM

Listen, I'm not saying we should sub David Allen in just to have him punch Carlino right in his stupid face

I’m saying we should consider it.

I believed in Nikita Mescheriakov's jump shot.

by SnowpocalypseNow on Jan 24, 2015 | 2:45 PM

ooh, a Carlito's Way reference!

how clever!


by CasualHoya on Jan 24, 2015 | 2:48 PM

Marquette undoubtedly has the most annoying hair in the conference

by Hoya Annoya on Jan 24, 2015 | 2:49 PM

Hopkins free throws vs Carlino three pointers

Who misses first?

by Otto's AAU Squad on Jan 24, 2015 | 2:50 PM


Macklemore plays for Marquette?

"The enemy is like a woman, weak in face of opposition..." - St. Ignatius

by HoyaNinja on Jan 24, 2015 | 2:52 PM

Had no idea Sandy Cohen was jewish

Makes me wonder how much of the Yiddish I shouted at him during the last game he understood

by Hoya Annoya on Jan 24, 2015 | 2:56 PM

Our 3pt defense is pretty much just "Eh, he'll probably miss"

by Hoya Annoya on Jan 24, 2015 | 2:57 PM

Luckily no matter how many BS shots this guy makes we're still winning

Says something about our talent

by Otto's AAU Squad on Jan 24, 2015 | 3:08 PM

They compared him to MJ and Kobe...

by Horchata Hoya on Jan 24, 2015 | 3:09 PM

its like FS1 borrowed announcers from the AND1 tour


by J.Lebowski on Jan 24, 2015 | 3:15 PM

Is he seriously talking about how good both are at defense

When both are on pace to score over 80?

by AdoptedHoya on Jan 24, 2015 | 3:21 PM

i suppose the refs just don't see carlino push off with his arm on every drive


by CasualHoya on Jan 24, 2015 | 4:03 PM

The rainBow.

by sabrmattrics on Jan 24, 2015 | 4:06 PM

I'm going to go ahead and call it now

Carlino is going to hit a buzzer beater three to win the game

by Horchata Hoya on Jan 24, 2015 | 4:10 PM

my son's cat is named



by preEwingHoya on Jan 24, 2015 | 4:15 PM

I will not let this bullshit game ruin my day

I will not let this bullshit game ruin my day. I will not let this bullshit game ruin my day. I will not let this bullshit game ruin my day.

by Horchata Hoya on Jan 24, 2015 | 4:22 PM

nice flop Fischer


by LeftyHookerintheLane on Jan 24, 2015 | 4:23 PM

James Gandolfini died 18 months ago

And he’s got a movie just now coming to DVD?

by Hoya Annoya on Jan 24, 2015 | 4:27 PM

This is not a relaxing afternoon.

by Hoya Saxual on Jan 24, 2015 | 4:49 PM

We need to deflate the ball

Make it easier for the bigs to catch

by tubasaxa on Jan 24, 2015 | 4:57 PM

Freshman corner threes

Are my favorite corner threes.

I believed in Nikita Mescheriakov's jump shot.

by SnowpocalypseNow on Jan 24, 2015 | 5:02 PM

I want a Chvotkin "Hoyas Win" ringtone for my phone

We could market it for the blog

Hoya Saxa Forever

by hoyaben on Jan 24, 2015 | 5:06 PM

Black and blue Big East win

This team is for real.

Show me something

by WarmupEwing on Jan 24, 2015 | 5:19 PM

Komrade at the line since Jan 11

19 of 23 for 82.6%

Hoya Saxa Forever

by hoyaben on Jan 24, 2015 | 5:28 PM

The Kate Upton Award for doing Kate Upton Things Award:

Kate Upton

Let’s go Hoyas.  Beat Xavier.