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Casual Communication: Where #Swaglife Is In Full Effect

Before we embark on a journey that will ultimately lead to glory in Indianapolis, we've decided to give you another edition of Casual Communication.  If you are new to the blog or if you are of less-than-average intelligence, this feature is where you get to ask me questions and I try to answer them to the best of my ability.  If you have any questions or if you just want to tell me how much I suck, please feel free to email  Half of my emails come from random blogs trying to get a piece of THE GLOBAL PHENOMENON, and the other half come from people following me on a Twitter account that doesn't exist.  The internet is a confusing place.

The internet confuses me

This week's questions are after The Jump.

One of your first Casual Communications made clear that, like the Situation carried Jersey Shore, Greg Monroe would be the key to determine how far Georgetown can go. Now that the season has played out, do you want to recast anyone as The Situation? How far can the Hoyas go in the Tournament?  Puffy, Panama City

This is a very good question.  There were points in time throughout the year that I thought about my Jersey Shore comparison and then thought about reevaluating both my life and my castings.  There were definitely times I thought both Austin Freeman and Chris Wright exhibited Situation-like qualities.  Yet, at the end of the day, Monroe makes this team go.  When he is single covered, he is unguardable.  Literally unguardable.  He is too quick for big men, too strong for swingmen, and has improved his defense and rebounding so drastically from last year that he looks like a different player on the floor.  That's not to take anything away from Austin Freeman, who has had one of the greatest seasons in Georgetown history.  He scores with an efficiency that would make Dwayne Wade blush.  He has been so automatic that I get really annoyed if he ever misses a shot.  And while Chris Wright and I have had our differences, he is clearly the heart and soul of this team and his passion and competitiveness is something I wish I could exemplify in any aspect of my life.  Still, the Hoyas will only go as far as #10 will take them.  He started the season as The Situation, and he will end the season as The Situation.  He makes our offense go because of his passing ability, sets up Freeman and Jason Clark with wide open looks, scores at will, and always seems to make the right play.  

As for your second question, I think the Hoyas have the ability to win it all.  They got a tough draw in the Midwest, but the NCAA Tournament forces you to beat good teams.  So we have to beat Kansas in the Elite 8 instead of the Final Four.  Whatever, at some point if you want to win a National Championship this year, you are going to have to play Kansas.  Say what you will about Georgetown, I've clearly said a lot, but this team has been so much fun to watch.  When the offense is clicking, it's a beautiful brand of basketball.  I watch a team like West Virginia, and as much as I respect their results, the actual aesthetic pleasure is nonexistent.  In fact, it's the opposite of aesthetic pleasure.  It's aesthetic diarrhea.  I'm sure it's fun to cheer for teams like that, especially if you don't have a job or an IQ above 100, but cheering for Georgetown is more satisfying because the game is just so much more enjoyable to watch.  Ultimately, it's a long-winded way of me saying I think Georgetown is going to win the National Championship.  #Swaglife is in full effect.


"In 49 other states, it's just basketball." The Final 4 is in Indianapolis this year. If you're planning a road trip from Washington DC, what stops do you need to make along the way?  Male Cheerleader, Washington

Please let us interview you, we don't ask for much

I made this road trip after college with a few of my roommates because one of my roommates is from Chicago.  Aside from the two speeding tickets in a 10 minute span on the border of Indiana and Illinois, it's a very pleasant drive.  There are three things you must do while on the road.  First, stop at the Little League World Series in Williamsport, PA.  Williamsport, and all of Central Pennsylvania, is absolutely gorgeous, and the stadium is very cool.  The second thing you must do is stop in Columbus at the Ohio State University and steal one of Jim Tressel's sweater vests.  The third thing you must do is stop at Club Rio in Indianapolis, find Chastity, and tell her Jeff Green's Dad sent you.


Why is lordnick now rated NIKITA MESCHERIAKOV on the blog and everyone else is one of the John Thompsons?  Mrs. lordnick, Washington DC

He knows why, he knows what he did.  Let's just put it this way - lordnick had two St. Johns off the backboard type blunders this weekend, and now he is being punished by the powers that be.


Chad Ford and other draft wizards claim that Greg Monroe lacks motor, elite athleticism, and drive. Are these guys drunk? Please give me one reason why some GM would select someone like Marshall's Hassan Whitehead (likely to be another Patrick O'Bryant) over Monroe?  Notorious Homer, Washington DC

I have to say, I am FLABBERGASTED by how Monroe is being treated by NBA scouts.  We've had this debate on THE GLOBAL PHENOMENON before, but it is stunning.  He is so much better than Ed Davis and Derrick Favors.  Don't even get me started on Hassan Whitehead because I'll have to pop you (get it, because you pop whiteheads?!)  Monroe has come out this season and increased every single statistical measure he can be judged by.  He has played every game with passion, I have no clue what started the motor comments, if anything he annoys me with how much he bitches at referees.  I guess he doesn't have the same athleticism as Tyrus Thomas or Stromile Swift, but he is a much better basketball player than either of them ever was.  What people don't seem to understand is that every single game he is the main focus of the defense.  When he has had single coverage he has been unstoppable.  Look at tape from Marquette, Syracuse, or Butler.  The only way to beat the Hoyas is to double Monroe and hope that the shooters go cold.  And unlike guards, big men have to get the ball fed to them, which is hard when two guys are draped all over Greg.  But imagine Greg in the NBA, where he won't be getting double covered.  He will be absurd.  I feel like he is the next Tim Duncan, yet none of these scouts see it, and it makes me feel like I am taking crazy pills.  And he is still a work in progress.  He has the frame to put on another 30 pounds of muscle, still needs to develop his right hand, could use stronger hands in general, and has the shooting form to knock down a 15 footer consistently.  His basketball IQ, footwork, and passing ability are once-in-a-decade good.  For the life of me I can't understand why the Top 3 draft picks aren't John Wall, Evan Turner and Greg Monroe in some order.


Want some garlic bread?  Patron at Good Guys, Washington, DC

The rest of the pictures from Good Guys are NSFW

Yes, thank you.


Enough of this basketball nonsense.  What are your thoughts on American Idol now that we are down to the Top 12?  Kyle, New York

Here are some random thoughts in no particular order. I think Lee Dewyze may not win the competition, but he will have the best career.  He has the best voice, almost like a more pop sounding Dave Matthews.  I find myself YouTubing his songs after every single performance.  I hate "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol with a fiery passion, yet I've rewatched his performance of the song about 15 times.  I think Siobhan Magnus is incredibly annoying and I will stop watching the show if she continues to play a major role.  I think Crystal Bowersox is overrated, although I seem to be the only person who thinks so.  I think Andrew Garcia is a one-trick pony and will be gone soon.  It's unclear to me why Tim Urban and Paige Miles are still in the competition when Alex Lambert was one of the top 3 singers in the entire competition.  I think Aaron Kelly is a watered down version of David Archuleta, which is really saying something.  I think Didi Benami and Katie Stevens are getting a raw deal from the judges.  I really dislike Michael Lynche, he reminds me of those overgregarious big guys I knew in high school and college that want you to think they are the nicest, chillest guys on campus, but are actually the exact opposite.  If I had my pick the top 5 would have ended up with Dewyze, Lambert, Benami, Bowersox and Stevens.  I assume instead I'll be subjected to Aaron Kelly's whining and Siobhan Magnus' screaming for a lot longer than I would have wanted.

As for the judges, I've enjoyed Ellen a lot.  I think Randy is losing his fastball.  His "Yo dawg man" shtick was tolerable when he was making pertinent points, but so far this season he just seems to irrationally love Big Mike because he wants another fat guy around to eat with him.  Simon still speaks the truth, although I hate that he likes Siobhan.  As for Kara, her hand gestures and mannerisms remind me of Kobe Bryant's when she speaks.  I know that sounds weird, but watch for it next time.


Every year Jim Nantz comes up with a corny catchphrase for when a team wins the National Championship.  When Georgetown cuts down the nets, what are the top 5 possibilities coming out of his mouth?  Clark, New York

It'd be my pleasure.

5.  (If Henry Sims wins Most Outstanding Player) From Twitter To Title, Georgetown Is Your National Champion

4.  (If Chris Wright wins Most Outstanding Player)  The Hoyas Have The Wright Stuff, Georgetown Is Your National Champion

3.   (If Austin Freeman wins Most Outstanding Player)  How Sweet It Is, Georgetown Is Your National Champion

2.  (If Greg Monroe wins Most Outstanding Player)  Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Georgetown Is Your National Champion

1.  (What I'd bet my life savings on him saying)  Like Father, Like Son, Georgetown Is Your National Champion

The NCAA Tournament starts tomorrow.  It's the most wonderful time of the year.  Happy St. Patrick's Day.