clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Crap Day Continues...The Casual Hoya Valentine's Day Gift Guide

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.

It's that time of the year again!  You know, the date that wives, girlfriends and non-casual casual chicks circle on the calendar the moment it is hung up, while husbands, boyfriends and sweet lax bros rush to find candy, flowers and gifts the night before.  This year Valentine's Day falls on a three-day weekend, which means you are expected to make it an extra special affair.  But unfortunately for most, a little East Coast Blizzard got in the way.



So in an attempt to help y'all out, now that we have verified that at least some of you don't live in your mother's basement eating Double Stuffed Oreos all day, we have put together a casual gift guide for Valentine's Day.  And like everything done on this site, we aim to make it as easy as possible, so have enlisted the help of Ebay and noted the mostly awesomely bad Georgetown-related items currently up for auction.

(More after "Da Jump")

Georgetown Santa Doll

Nothing says "I Love You" like a porcelain doll of Santa Claus wearing a Georgetown jacket.  Why in the world was this ever produced?  How many times have you been home for Christmas and thought, Wow, I really wish I had a Georgetown Santa Doll sitting above the fireplace, that is what would really make this holiday special.  Unbelievable waste of fine art skills.


Georgetown Divot Tool

I am all for showing your school pride in every possible way, through tattoos, piercings and even interpretive dances.  But a divot tool?  Show your school pride while fixing the green after a shot?


Intimidating Georgetown Sign

Showing your school pride through an emblem or logo on your car is always a nice touch, and will almost always get you out of traffic tickets. Actual conversion that I made up:

Casual Reader: What seems to be the problem officer?
Officer: You were going 100 in a 20 mph construction and school zone.
Casual Reader: Oops, my bust player-hater.
Officer: No worries young chap, I see that your a Georgetown fan, have you ever head of
Casual Reader: Hot diggity.  I am on that site all the time.
Officer: Fantastic, you are free to go and speed whenever you want.

But the above sign?  What is there to fear about Georgetown fans?  That they will sue you?  That they will ruin your chances of running for a political position?  Fear the damn players, not the fans.  We aren't West Virginia.


Georgetown Bottle Caps

Oh my, bottle caps! How did you know, it is just what I wanted?!?   Do not expect that reaction by giving Georgetown Bottle Caps as a Valentine's Day gift.  What do you do with bottle caps anyway, unless you run a beverage processing business.  Or maybe you are often in a situation where you want to preserve your beer and but have a horrible habit of throwing away the cap before finishing the delicious and tasty beverage.  Alas, with these Georgetown bottle caps, you can top off the beer, and remind yourself of your favorite school.  


Georgetown Snapp Capps

What the hell are Snapp Capps and why do both words have an extra "P" at the end of them?  I would comment more but I have no idea what these are or why they are needed.


Georgetown Comforter Set

Don't let the small picture fool you, chicks dig matching comforter sets.  Screw the silk sheets and oil, go for the Georgetown sheets and Wisey's grease.  And if you are no longer sleeping in a twin bed, here is the queen set.


Georgetown Barbie Doll

While most of the gifts above are targeted for those readers who no longer live in their mothers' basements and eat Double Stuffed Oreos while watching repeats of Law & Order in their sweatpants, this is the perfect gift for those of our readers who still do call their childhood residence home.  Casual Hint: No one will know if you buy a Georgetown Barbie for yourself.