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A Georgetown Thanksgiving: Giving Thanks To The Hoyas, One Dish At A Time

Note: This was originally posted in 2010 back when THE GLOBAL PHENOMENON was actually producing strong content. Enjoy.

The Georgetown Hoyas are showing off a Charleston Classic trophy to go along with an undefeated, unblemished, and untarnished 5-0 record, and what better way to give thanks to our heroes as the Thanksgiving break approaches then to play another riveting round of...Bizarre Hoya Analogies! That's right everyone, first we compared the Hoyas to Jersey Shore cast members, then your favorite TV shows, and now we're back with a very special episode today, pairing the Hoyas with your favorite Thanksgiving food items! Today's contestants are two of your favorite Casual bloggers: JGD and Casualhoya! Since your mouth is undoubtedly already watering from the prospect of reading this schlock for the next few minutes, here we go!

The Turkey:
Casual Turkey. via
Chris Wright is the turkey for the Hoyas. The turkey is the table setter for any good Thanksgiving meal. It goes great with basically any other food on the table. When you have leftovers, you sure as hell aren't having a stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes combination without turkey as the base. The turkey is the point guard of all Thanksgiving meals. It is particularly appropriate for Wright because he has a good side and a bad side, just like turkey. Dark meat is tasty, hearty and underrated. White meat tastes is dry and tastes like crap. When I was younger I ate white meat because I didn't know any better. When Wright was younger he could be selfish because he didn't know any better. My turkey palate has become more refined, like Wright's point guard skills.

Wrong. Austin Freeman is the turkey for the Hoyas. The turkey is the dish you keep coming back to, the dish that you want to savor until the next day, the dish that can provide you with sustenance throughout the entire weekend. I agree with you, turkey is kind of dull (I prefer a casual ham, myself), but without the turkey there is no main event, and without Freeman there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for the Hoyas.
The Stuffing:
Casual Stuffing. via
Austin Freeman is the stuffing for the Hoyas. The stuffing is the best part of any Thanksgiving meal, and Austin is the best player for Georgetown. If the stuffing sucks, my Thanksgiving sucks. If Austin sucks, Georgetown sucks. Stuffing is the most versatile of all the Thanksgiving foods, just like Austin is the most versatile Hoya scorer. It can also come in all shapes and sizes depending on the ingredients, just like Austin did over his four years at Georgetown.


Wrong. Julian Vaughn is your stuffing. Stuffing is hardly the most versatile Thanksgiving food, stuffing is what sits at the bottom of your plate and absorbs all of the other elements on there. Drenched in gravy? Yes, please. Drizzled with some cranberry sauce? Give me more. Mixed with a little sweet potatoes for the win? Color me bad! Julian Vaughn is the stuffing for the Hoyas. He is he man in the middle, the guy absorbing the pain of the opponent's big man, the guy whose assignment it is to plug the middle of the lane much like stuffing plugs your innards.
The Mashed Potatoes:
Casual Mashed Potatoes. via
Julian Vaughn is the mashed potatoes for the Hoyas. Mashed potatoes are workmanlike and you can't rely on them as your main option for your Thanksgiving. Are they a phenomenal complement to your turkey and stuffing? Absolutely. Vaughn, like mashed potatoes, is solid and gets the job done. He's just not Georgetown's main option.

Wrong. Chris Wright is your mashed potatoes. You see my good man, mashed potatoes are the main starch of the Thanksgiving meal, the part of the plate that you just can't do without. Sometimes they are lumpy, sometimes they are creamy, but at all times they are a staple; always there, always willing to help make everything on the plate taste better, sometimes helping everything else find its proper place on the plate, sometimes taking it to the hoop against three defenders and clanging it off the rim.
The Biscuits:
Casual Biscuits. via
Jason Clark is the biscuits for the Hoyas. He seems to spark the team early in games, hitting threes and getting early steals. Biscuits set the tone for any Thanksgiving meal. A good biscuit never seems to end, as you peel layer after layer of buttery goodness. Clark, with his Inspector Gadget arms, doesn't seem to end either.

Wrong. Nate Lubick is the damn biscuits. Biscuits are white and fluffy, but sometimes when stale have an odd tendency to throw cross-court passes that when picked off lead to easy hoops for our opponents. Biscuits, like stuffing, can be used to mop up the remains of every plate, much like Lubick cleans the glass for the Hoyas.
The Sweet Potatoes:
Casual Sweet Potatoes. via
Hollis Thompson is the sweet potatoes for the Hoyas. I happen to love sweet potatoes, and rely on them heavily for my Thanksgiving plate. When I was younger my sweet potatoes were often bland, without any flavoring, just like Hollis was bland last year and relied on only his three point shot. But just like my sweet potatoes have added marshmellows and brown sugar, Hollis has added many dimensions to his game, including a feathery mid range jumper, and is using his bouncy athleticism to get to the rim.

Wrong. So very wrong. Jason Clark is the sweet potatoes. Sweet potatoes are, for me, the key to any Thanksgiving. Each year I swarm to the sweet potatoes while my other silly relatives flock towards the mashed potatoes like sheep. Sweet potatoes are sugary sweet, much like Clark's smooth stroke. I once made a casual sweet potato casserole with marshmallows gently melted on the surface and afterward I felt great about myself. I felt like I could accomplish anything. That's all I have to say about sweet potatoes.

Cranberry Sauce:
Casual Cranberry Sauce. via
Nate Lubick is the cranberry sauce for the Hoyas. My dad is the whitest person I know, and adores cranberry sauce. Lubick is white. Cranberry sauce is tart by itself, while Lubick hasn't developed his offensive game yet. But, in the right lineup, Lubick is an asset as a rebounder and hustler. Similarly, on leftover turkey sandwiches, cranberry sauce adds a nice contrast to the turkey, gravy and stuffing.

Survey says? WRONG. Hollis Thompson is the cranberries. Cranberry sauce is a casual side dish, and while some find them sweet, others, as you note so well, find them a bit sour. When Hollis is on like he was against NC State, he is undoubtedly the sweet side item that you want on your plate, so much so that you're happy to rub your face in it and scream for mercy. But when he is off, Hollis is often difficult to digest, a potent mix of sweet and sour that you'd rather have your chubby acne-laden third cousin experiment with before trying out on your own. YOU TRY IT, FATSO!
Pumpkin Pie:
Casual Pumpkin Pie. via

Henry Sims
is the pumpkin pie for the Hoyas. After a big meal, the pumpkin pie is the icing on the cake. A good slice makes a solid Thanksgiving dinner great. Georgetown was expected to be a solid team this year, but Sims could be their pumpkin pie. If he plays like he did against NC State for the rest of the season, this season could be extremely special.

How can icing on the cake be pumpkin pie? That doesn't even make sense! But in the holiday spirit, I'm going to agree with you on this one. Pumpkin pie is a joyous dessert, and no one on the Hoyas makes me feel better after he plays well then Mr. Sims. I'm not sure what it is, whether it be the difficulties he has had on the court the past two seasons or the boisterous sense of humor he exhibits on twitter, but when Sims plays well you just can't help but savor the moment, you can't help but take it all in slowly, and even though he sometimes plays softer than the mushy consistency of pumpkin pie that some find abhorrent, you can't help but beg for more.