More photos » Bill Kostroun - AP

9 months ago: FILE - In this Nov. 15, 2009 file photo, Jacksonville Jaguars running back Maurice Jones-Drew (32) is tackled by New York Jets' Dwight Lowery (21) while running for a touchdown during the first quarter of an NFL football game in East Rutherford, N.J. Fantasy and reality collided at the 1-yard line for Maurice Jones-Drew. The Jaguars running back passed up a sure touchdown and took a knee before the goal line, helping seal a win against the New York Jets last Sunday, and causing thousands of fantasy football owners to pound their heads against their laptops. Jones-Drew knows how they felt. He cost himself a win in his own fantasy league. (AP Photo/Bill Kostroun, File)

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Have you, like EVERYONE ELSE, been wasting your firm's precious dollars by spending time over the past few weeks doing "research" for your fantasy football draft?  If the answer is yes, today you've come to the right place. 

In yet another effort by our Board of Gimps to give something back to our readers, today THE GLOBAL PHENOMENON is shifting gears and dedicating this space to help you win your fantasy football league this season.  Whether it be a league with big money on the line, a league with your buddies for bragging rights, or a lame office league set up so you have something to talk about while you wait to get your morning caffeine fix,  we're here today to answer ALL of your questions about this season's crop of players.

Fantasy Football OPEN FORUM after The Jump:

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First, a disclaimer, before getting into the juicy and well-documented details.  This blog does not support, endorse or care about any political, social or grassroots movement, unless it is involves ripping on Syracuse and Jim Boeheim.  We are nothing more than shameless self-promoters and brazen attention-seeking whores.  We were also really bored and needed an excuse to day-drink.  With that out of the way, I present to you: Casual Tea Party 2010.

Casual patriotic sign 

The casual masses walk towards the Lincoln Memorial

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More photos » Thomas Cain - AP

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The University of Connecticut is set to respond to allegations of eight major NCAA rules violations this Friday, September 3rd but news of its impending doom is starting to leak, through Twitter of course.  

Hoya prospect Angelo Chol was thought to be considering Georgetown, Louisville, UConn, Arizona, North Carolina and others but recently tweeted that UConn was off his list because they lost all their scholarships.

(More after the Jump)

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There was a segment dedicated to former USC running back Joe McKnight last night on Hard Knocks.  Apparently McKnight hasn't been impressing the Jets with his work ethic this summer.  At one point defensive stalwart Bart Scott sneered that McKnight wasn't trying hard because "he's taking a pay cut" compared to his time at USC.  This comment reminded me that I've been sitting on comedic gold for about four months now.  One of my friends was a classmate of Brian Cushing's at USC.  Yes, the same Cushing who was recently suspended for steroids and claimed he tested positive from working out too hard.  Of course.  Anyways, this friend had a class with Cushing, and was asked by the NFL star to edit his extra credit paper.  Luckily, this friend kept this piece of literature for three years, and then passed it on to me.  And now I pass it on to THE ENTIRE WORLD.  Without further ado, I give you Brian Cushing solving the global warming crisis.

Read Brian Cushing's entire global warming paper after The Jump.

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In case the countless requests to DOCUMENT YOUR LUNCH aren't enough to let you in on the secret, the dog days of summer are officially upon us and your intrepid editors are desperately seeking new and entertaining ways to make the day pass.

It doesn't take a brain surgeon to realize that our ultimate haircut belongs to none other than Pauly D and we enjoyed learning that Vinny and Ron Ron had to go to a "hood barber" for a proper cut. This begs the question - what's it take to find a good barber and what's been the best/most entertaining hair in Hoya Land? 

Take a look at the cuts after the Jump

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Sent to us by a loyal casualite from lovely Nationals Park.  Security guards should dress up as presidents too.

www.CasualHoya.com: Laughing At With Others Since 2009

More photos » Frank Franklin II - AP

Chris Wright and I have had our differences, but that doesn't mean he is excluded from this list. Or is he? (AP Photo/Frank Franklin II)

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The dog days of summer are almost over.  It's been a long four and a half months since the mighty Georgetown Hoyas lost to the not-so-mighty Ohio Bobcats.  But fear not loyal reader, soon enough, basketball will start again and you will stop having to document your lunches.  In an unrelated note, if you aren't watching HBO's Hard Knocks on the New York Jets, you aren't watching TV.  Rex Ryan has captivated me like no man since The Situation.  He is spellbounding, hilarious, fat, jolly, angry and America.  You must watch this show.

Anyways, this is as subjective a list as they come.  These rankings come with an absurd amount of operating assumptions for next year as well.  Without these assumptions, my top 5 would be the 2007 Final Four team, considering the current batch of Hoyas have two combined tournament wins amongst all 12 players.  Also, players that weren't freshmen with JT3 are excluded, which eliminates Ashanti Cook, Brandon Bowman and Kenny Izzo, among others.

After The Jump, see my full list.

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More photos » Nick Wass - AP

Hollis Thompson will have to be a big contributor if Georgetown wants to be successful next year. (AP Photo/Nick Wass)

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The worldwide leader had a pretty comprehensive preview on its ESPN Insider this week.  For those of you that aren't rich enough to afford it, well I am.  And today I am feeling generous, so I'll let you peasants read it as well.  The article begins with a paragraph that I wish I was good enough to write:

The explanation lies in Paradox No. 2: Next season, Big Man U's big men on campus will all measure under 6-foot-4.

Concise, to the point, about Georgetown basketball.  It's like the exact opposite of everything CasualHoya writes.

After The Jump see more nuggets about the upcoming year, including scouting reports on the incoming freshmen.

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