This week's entry in The Internet's Greatest Feature tugs at my heartstrings as it brings together the epic wonderment of global headband documentation with the Internet's 2nd Greatest Feature, Document Your Lunch. Along with the pictures in this submission came this casual narrative telling a tale of love, lust and hot sauce. Take it away!
As some of you may have heard, I have been cursed to stay almost the entire summer in Pittsburgh away from my beloved homeland of The Lone Star State. To add insult to injury, I am working and living on the campus of those hated Big East ditchers, the Pittsburgh Panthers. While the Petersen Events Center (where our beloved Hoyas got throttled this past spring) is but a stone's throw away from my residence (believe me, I'm aiming), I have had little choice but to explore the other areas of the land they call Oakland in (mostly) futile attempts at combating the incredible boredom that comes with being on a college campus in the summer time. Oh wait, that's just Pittsburgh in general...
The story of personal sacrifice and Glory continues after The Jump:
Anyway, as I walked through Oakland looking for places to eat one evening, I happened upon a franchise of the western Pennsylvania staple Quaker Steak & Lube. I saw a sign in the window advertising what they called the "Triple Atomic Tough Challenge" and, as one who has already toppled the famed Buffalo Wild Wings Blazin' Challenge, I had to enter the store to inquire about this new challenge.
The rules were simple: 6 wings of their hottest sauce. No time limits, no restrictions on dipping sauce, napkins and drinks are fair game. Surely this would be easy! After tackling BWW's 12-wing challenge with all of their rules and stipulations, this would be a breeze! Not to mention, this would be my first opportunity to infuse a little Casual into the bummer that is the University of Pittsburgh. So I got a few friends together and took on this task last Friday evening (check it out here to see the videos some champions filmed).
When I got the wings, they reeked of pure poison. These things were blood red and just waiting to destroy my gut. My Casual Swag left me and I instantly knew I was in for trouble. To give a little background on how hot these wings were, I reference the Scoville Heat Scale. This scale, which measures the amount of capsaicin in a product, give the jalapeno pepper a rating of 2,500. The sauce on these wings had a rating of 500,000 (that's 200 times spicier than a jalapeno, for you SFSers among us). BWW's Blazin' sauce had a rating of 300,000 and the famed Ghost Chili has a rating of 1,000,000 on this scale. 30 minutes, 100 napkins, and 8 cups of Pepsi later, I completed the challenge. The Casual evidence lies above.
Not to mention, I got a pretty Casual t-shirt out of it as a trophy.
My recommendation to all of you Casualties: Do NOT attempt this challenge without a jug of milk and a taste for really spicy food. My Texan tendency toward spiciness helped me make it through this challenge, but this is not for the weak of heart (or stomach). I now continue on my quest to help make the city of Pittsburgh just a little more Casual. Next stop: Primanti, Bros.!
Until next time,
Whoa, thanks Tex! Now, I know what you may be thinking. THIS DUDE IS AN IDIOT! And yes, you'd be right. But you also might be thinking, "Wait a minute, where's the damn Casual Headband in this picture?" Hark! This week's submission is a perfect example of the new rules of the contest so that those who were unable to acquire Casual Swag due to pounding demand will be able to participate!
To enter the 2012 Casual Headbands Summer Series Contest, follow the following simple steps:
1) Take thine Casual Swag and descend upon all corners of the Earth.
2) Document your travels with casual pictures (cell phone pics work) of Casual Swag in front of a casual landmark or location. If you do not have Casual Swag*, get creative! Write the word 'casual' on something print a copy of the home page of this site to use for documentation, do whatever you want.
3) Send the documentation to us at firstname.lastname@example.org
* More Casual Swag will be available during the season. Leave me alone, dammit.
That's it! You'll be automatically entered to win a treasure trove of wonderful prizes, all courtesy of America's Most-Read Georgetown Hoyas Website. Each and every Friday from today through Labor Day (or perhaps beyond), your Casual documentation will be displayed RIGHT HERE, and the ultimate champion will once again be selected by your vote. Prizes already secured from various generous donors include:
1) tickets to Hoyas games;
2) a DRINK FOR FREE ON CASUAL'S TAB during the 4th Annual Casual Extravaganza ("CX4") next season;
3) invaluable shares of Facebook stock;
4) a now permissible "impromptu" on campus party thrown just for you!
5) the basketball court at the new Georgetown athletic facility to be completed in the year 2080 named in your honor.
The summer is your time.
The Headband and/or Coozie is your seed.
Go Forth and Keep it Casual.