Eat That Box Award - USA TODAY Sports
The Fighting Hoyas of Georgetown are now 8-1 after wins against Towson (horrific) and Longwood (groovy) and since it's been awhile since the last batch of the Casual Awards popped out of the Oven of Awesome, let's cut the crap since we have a lot to get to. Away we go!
Chris Wright Heart of a Champion Award:
Georgetown Men's Soccer. What a run to the College Cup Finals for the boys in blue and gray. Hire Esherick said it best in the game recap of the final, so I'll just post it here again because I am too lazy to come up with anything else: To Coach Brian Wiese and his staff, seniors Ian Christianson, Tommy Muller, Jimmy Nealis, and Andy Riemer, and the rest of the Georgetown team, I say thank you. The last few weeks have been an incredible ride and you have made all Georgetown fans and alums proud. I can honestly say, without the slightest bit of snark, that I am excited for the future of Georgetown Soccer and cannot wait to see what you gentlemen accomplish next season. If nothing else, getting me to tune into soccer and even look forward to it is a mighty impressive accomplishment! Congrats on the historic season.
Sir Lancerblock Award:
Special thanks to resident GIF Goddess Hoya Saxual for generating the below of Otto Porter's emphatic rejection of a hapless Lancer which we can now enjoy for the rest of time:
Smoke ‘Em If Ya Got ‘Em Award:
Say what you will about Aaron Bowen, but he knows exactly what he's doing when he takes the court. And that is to shoot the damn ball. Bowen wastes no time getting in the box score in his limited action, hoisting shots from all over the floor and making a point to leave his mark on each game with an emphatic dunk. Bowen's lack of discretion has clearly rubbed off on other bench denizens, as John Caprio finished with a career-high 4 points against the Lancers.
Lord Voldemort Award:
Dudes, so like, what do we do about Mikael Hopkins before we all kill ourselves? Feel free to discuss in the comments.
Not Exactly A Sellout Award:
These games against national powerhouses should really be played at McDonough. Special thanks to casualty RileysDressLikeAHoyasJersey for providing the in-game documentation throughout this piece.
Towson student section - not bad!
Longwood student section - not great!
Who Needs a Point Guard When We Have a Point Forward Award:
Nate Lubick. Lubick had a career high 7 assists against Longwood and has developed into the passing big to adequately replace Henry Sims at the top of the post. Georgetown's offense flows remarkably better with Lubick up top instead of Mikael Hopkins, as Lubick is able to spot the cutters and isn't afraid to unleash the precision passes to hit them for easy baskets.
Benedict Arnold Award:
Jerrelle Benimon. Jerrelle dumped 11 points and grabbed 17 rebounds on Georgetown in his first game back at Verizon since transferring to Towson, and nearly led the Tigers to what would have been a season-ending and blog-exploding upset. Benimon has been excellent at Towson, and his performance against the Hoyas helped him win CAA Player of the Week honors to boot. Could Georgetown use a guy with Benimon's talents right now? Probably, but he's a good kid and we wish him well. Speaking of Towson...
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT Award:
What more is there to say about the atrocious performance of our offense against Towson that hasn't already been said about the atrocious performance of our offense against Tennessee? And that, mon fraires, is scary.
Brothers For Life Award:
There are a number of creative folks who visit THE GLOBAL PHENOMENON, one of which is our favorite Marquette dude Rubie Q, who put this together to memorialize the tragedy of the Big East and the "Catholic Seven":
Cynical Yet Delusional Award:
Georgetown's offense is so bad that I hope every game is on ESPN3 going forward so each player looks like a lego and I can't actually see the missed layups. The Hoyas can't possibly maintain its Top 15 ranking and will get exposed once Big East play begins, so the season is on the brink and I look forward to Georgetown's battles with in-conference rival Old Dominion next season. However, in case the Hoyas (whose only loss of the season was against the nation's #1 team in overtime) do manage to improve just a smidge on offense to complement what is perhaps the most suffocating defense in the country, I booked a flight to Atlanta for the Final Four after the Hoyas dropped 89 points on Longwood.
Fun While It Lasted Award:
This one isn't devoted to the Big East, which seems destined to fall apart or morph into something horrid, but rather to Georgetown's recruitment of class of 2013 center Dakari Johnson. Johnson, who would be a great fit and would be given every chance to be the next great big man at Georgetown, recently visited with Kentucky, which means that Georgetown now has zero chance. Next.
Phi Slamma Jamma Award:
To quote LeBron James: "Not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six..." SEVEN MOTHERFUCKING DUNKS AGAINST LONGWOOD. Woohoo!
Document Your Dunks Award:
Ladies and Gentlemen. In honor of the rare, non-offensive display of offense the Hoyas treated us to last night,
Document Your Glory Days Award Exhibit A:
Mets fans haven't had much to cheer about over the past 25 years, but these treasures brought a smile to my face when I unearthed them recently.
Document Your Glory Days Award Exhibit B:
These majestic stubs were from the first Springsteen concert I ever attended at Giants Stadium. Real casual $17.50 price tag.
A little research revealed that this show actually took place on September 1, 1985 as rained washed away the initial date. Setlist below:
- Born in the U.S.A.
- Out in the Street
- Johnny 99
- Darkness on the Edge of Town
- The River
- I'm Goin' Down
- Working on the Highway
- Glory Days
- The Promised Land
- My Hometown
- Thunder Road
- Cover Me
- Dancing in the Dark
- Hungry Heart
- Cadillac Ranch
- Downbound Train
- I'm on Fire
- Pink Cadillac
- Bobby Jean
- This Land Is Your Land
- Born to Run
- Twist and Shout
- Do You Love Me?
- Jersey Girl
- Sherry Darling
- Santa Claus Is Coming to Town
Salvage Your Dignity Award:
The great thing about doing an Awards post after two games is that I have not just one but TWO opportunities to display Mr. Gatling Gun Guy in all of his holiday-inspired splendor:
Yes, that's Frosty the Snowman.
Ted Leonsis award for Getting Things Done Award:
Even though a fair number of liberals despise it, the presence of Chik-Fil-A at Verizon goes a long way to distracting the fans from the lack of a dimmer switch in the stands to class up the joint and improve the play on the court. The question remains, however, why these succulent nuggets and all of the dipping sauce options have been relegated all the way up by section 423. As most casualties rarely leave their lower level environs to stalk Verizon sustenance by the nosebleeds, I fear the location of this Chik-Fil-A will sadly result in a lack of Chik-Fil-A documentation on THE GLOBAL PHENOMENON, and this troubles me deeply. Then again, why would anyone need to risk injury climbing to the upper levels of the arena WHEN IT IS RAINING BURRITOS FROM THE SKY!
Document Your Lunch Award:
I tried out this new way to spread syrup among my pancakes. You will note the hole cut in the middle of the stack that is filled with syrup, which I had hoped would then ooze out over the various levels of the flapjacks to produce three equally satiated delectable sponges of awesome. Instead, the syrup kinda just stayed in the hole and was absorbed by the surrounding regions of the hole, never giving me the circulation I was hoping for, which just resulted in my pouring more syrup over all of them anyway. By the way, it's awesome that syrup is free. I USE SO MUCH OF IT.
Towson GameWatch Award:
If you're going to watch the Towson game on your computer because you have no life and nothing better to do and you think you need to tweet updates during games because there are actually people who rely on your tweets to follow such events because they, unlike you, enjoy their lives, you might as well watch it per the below:
Video Killed The Radio Star Award:
Made the huge mistake of watching the Grammy nominations concert show the other day. First, I think Taylor Swift is pretty attractive for a 15 year old or whatever she is and I'm sure she'll have a very long career as she has decent pipes and sings catchy tunes, but the whole "Oh my god I can't believe I just got nominated/won a Grammy" look every time she gets one is really pissing me off. YOU WERE THE HOST OF THE SHOW you think they'll leave you off the damn nominee list? Generally, music stinks of late, though I do find myself whistling to that song "Some Nights" by fun. on occasion. Incidentally, the fact that the band's name has a period at the end of it is everything that is wrong with music and hipster America. Bike shares=communism.
All I Want For Hanukkah Award:
What else does Henry Sims need to do in the D-League in order to warrant a call up to the bigs? According to our blog buddies at Ridiculous Upside, Mr. Sims is poised for a promotion after vanquishing Fab Melo the other night and is averaging 14.3 points, 8.7 rebounds, and 1 block per contest.. Oh by the way, our very own Heart of a Champion Chris Wright is tossing up huge numbers as well, with a whopping 31pts, 9asts, 5rebs, 1stl, 1blk line the other night.
Enough Already Award:
On a scale of 1-5 with 1 being "I couldn't care less" and 5 being "I am riveted", I put my interest as to the events surrounding this ‘fiscal cliff' at a 0. We all know a deal is getting done, so who gives a shit unless you're some dude like Chuck Todd who gets paid to spew nonsense about it every morning to Matt Lauer. Matt Lauer has really nice suits. Also, to those that use ‘POTUS' instead of ‘Obama', get over yourselves.
Jim Nantz Award for In-Game Commentary:
Here are a few casual nuggets from FOUR very casual Game Threads:
Hoyas v. Maryland College Cup Final Four:
Hoyas v. Towson Shitshow:
Hoyas v. Longwood Triumph of Destiny:
I'm considering only posting in GIF form. Though it may take up all of the bandwidth the site is permitted
Gratuitous GIF of Kate Upton Doing Kate Upton Things Award:
The Georgetown Hoyas are a nationally ranked powerhouse.
Western Carolina is NeXt.