Things I'm Hating: Inaugural Edition Includes Bill Simmons, Entourage, Small Children and Life

It's Monday, everybody hates Mondays, and I'm in a particularly hateful mood, so why not start what will become a recurring feature during the season.  It's pretty simple, just a bunch of things I am currently hating.  Nothing is more cathartic than telling the world what you hate on an anonymous college basketball blog, so please hate away in the comments.  Ultimately this feature will be used to hate on the team we are playing during the season and will be a forum for brainstorming the most lewd cheers possible for taunting.   Because it's the offseason, for now I'll just be hating on random things.  I love hating.

After The Jump come on a magical ride through my twisted brain.

Bill Simmons was my favorite writer during my formative years.  He started at ESPN when I was a freshman in high school, and was the voice I most identified with throughout high school and college.  I went to his book signings, plowed through both of his books, and read his columns religiously.  Unfortunately, I'm starting to hate him.  For 2010 he's written about one column a week if we're lucky.  He spends most of his time recording "podcasts" with his friends.   I don't know Jacko, I don't care about baseball or the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry that was last relevant six years ago.  I don't care about Cousin Sal trying to predict NFL lines.  Somehow Simmons went from one of the hardest working sportswriters on the internet to a dude that spends his time chatting with his uninteresting friends and getting paid millions and millions of dollars to do so.  I think Drew Magary of Deadspin is the best writer on the internet now, and he is on the verge of doing to Simmons what Simmons did to Rick Reilly.  That said, the 30 for 30s have been spectacular, so it hasn't been all hate for Bill.  Just needs to, you know, start $@#^ING WRITING AGAIN.

I'm still an avid watcher of Entourage.  It's a Sunday night tradition in the summer for me, and at this point, I'm going to finish it out.  But it lost the ability to be a thought-provoking show when it casted some of the worst actors Hollywood has ever seen as its main characters.  It evolved into a feel-good show where Vince hooked up with hot girls, Ari had some funny one-liners, and Johnny got ripped on.  Everyone enjoyed that.  Now the writers are trying to turn it into a drama with Vince's coke addiction, Ari's crumbling marriage, and Turtle attempting to become Jose Cuervo.  After last night's episode I didn't feel good, I was depressed.  I don't need that from this show, sitting in a cubicle 50 hours a week is depressing enough.

I hate baseball.  What an awful sport.  I forget how much I hate it until this time of year when there is nothing else on.  What's so cool about it is when its most promising prospect is out for the next 18 months.  Just go away.

I hate how people spend their birthdays going on couple retreats *COUGH CASUALHOYA COUGH*.  I didn't realize your birthday was a celebration of your union with your significant other.  What did you do for the 25 years before you met your wife?  Were there no birthday celebrations?  "Oh honey, we don't do enough together, between anniversaries, valentine's day, and SHARING A HOUSE TOGETHER, we might as well get away from it all to celebrate my birthday."  In other news, I am currently planning a trip for my 25th birthday with my significant other to do the exact thing I am hating on.  BUT THAT'S DIFFERENT.

I hate the culture that has evolved in college basketball recruiting, spawned by AAU.  You know who didn't play AAU?  Michael Jordan.  Larry Bird.  Magic Johnson.  Bill Russell.  Wilt Chamberlain.  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.  Somehow they were still discovered.  Now every 14-year-old kid with some basketball talent is being handled by clowns who have no interest in anything other than making a buck off of children going through puberty.  Even the most ardent haters of JT3 and Georgetown would admit he does right by his players - that they are well spoken, thoughtful, and respectful kids.  Yet, Tommy-From-The-Block-Turned-AAU-Coach is in recruits' ears persuading them to go elsewhere because they know that Georgetown kids going pro sign with David Falk.  Tommy doesn't get a finder's fee if JT3 sends his kids to David Falk, even though he is the greatest basketball agent that has ever lived.  It's pathetic.

I hate parents who bring their three infant children on subways during morning rush hour in Manhattan, strollers and everything.  Hey pals, if you were silly enough to have three kids in four years, you should probably have enough money to pay for a cab so that the kids aren't getting trampled by a bunch of overeager New Yorkers trying to get to work.  Oh, you are trying to save costs?  DON'T HAVE THE THIRD KID, MORON.  That will save some costs.  Yes, this happened this morning.  I really think you should have to apply for a license to have a child.  You have to do so to drive, but not to procreate.  Does that make sense?  Does that make me a communist?  I'm going to stop talking now.

Hate away children.  Feel it in your mind and soul.  Hate, hate, hate.