USA v. ENGLAND WORLD CUP EXCLUSIVE: TEDDY'S BACK!

by CasualHoya on Jun 11, 2010 1:15 PM EDT in Casual Gamblers

In the week's leading up to the NCAA Tournament, back when there was hope, the sun came out every day, and you had never heard of Ohio University, we used this feature to document the answer to one of gambling's greatest questions:

CAN AN AVID SPORTS GAMBLER PICK BETTER THAN MY PUPPY?

The answer became abundantly clear. Teddy is a better sports gambler than Varmint the Greek.

Documented. Verified.

And with the World's most popular game now taking the international stage for the next few weeks, we're bringing Teddy back to help you make money on the 2010 FIFA WORLD CUP (Note: I included those words simply so that this post can generate cheapie google hits so our robust offseason numbers will look better. I am also looking forward to what UNITED STATES PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA has to say today about the OIL SPILL IN THE GULF OF MEXICO, what will happen in the ongoing saga between the representatives of GARY COLEMAN and his EX-WIFE SHANNON PRICE, or what LADY GAGA was thinking yesterday at Citi Field).

Tale of the Tape and The Picks after The Jump:

Tale of the Tape:

	Varmint	Teddy

Head to Head	2-6	7-1
% Correct	25.0%	87.5%
Age	37	2 years old
Race	Ghostly White	Maltipoo
Weight	192 pounds	6 pounds
Fun Fact	"I am short-selling my house for $140K. I purchased it for $325K three years ago."	"I'm averaging like 3 dumps a day."

Varmint's Pick:

I can't believe you idiots are so desperate for content that you've asked me back to do this crap.

Soccer? Are we really talking about soccer? The stupid game will end in a fucking tie OK...it's a communist sport. They should start with the penalty kicks and not play the first 90 minutes.....

Final score: 1-1

Teddy's Pick:

Though I share Varmint's disdain for The Beautiful Game and the flopping Euro pansies who play it, I am proud to be an American puppy.

But why did you jerks have to use such a bad camera this time? I'm much cuter in person.
Go USA!

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Comments

It's been a rough summer for Varmint so far

Living in Vegas without a roof over his head means some bright sun

by itsallthatmatters on Jun 11, 2010 1:20 PM EDT reply actions

USA 3-2

After consulting rocktavius’ site, im going with the above prediction

Good talk.
Casual Hoya

by Hire Esherick on Jun 11, 2010 1:41 PM EDT reply actions

Catastrophe Looms

The US is the Ohio University of the World Cup. NO WAY the US wins.
NONE.

by lordnick on Jun 11, 2010 10:52 PM EDT reply actions

U-S-A

Lordnick is either (a) a communist or (b) still bitter over the damn icelandic volcano. Less than 12 hrs til I get killed for root, root, rooting for the ‘home’ team

by bearcat saxa on Jun 12, 2010 4:43 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions