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Around SBN: College Football Preseason Top 25 Rankings

Casual Lock of the Day: Varmint v. Teddy - Day 2

After our man Varmint in Vegas went 4-7 in his first 11 picks (including a soul crushing 6 game losing streak), we here at the GLOBAL PHENOMENON began listening to your pleas to make a change.  But rather than dump Varmint while he was down on his luck, we decided to make things a bit more interesting while at the same time testing out one of gambling's greatest questions:

Can an avid sports gambler pick better than my puppy? 

Tale of the Tape: 

Varmint Teddy

Gambler_medium Teddy_2_medium
Head to Head Record 0-1 1-0
Age 37 Almost 2 years old
Race Ghostly White Maltipoo
Weight 205 pounds 6 pounds
Fun Fact "I have failed and fallen on my ass a lot in life; but I would rather live life that way than play it safe." "I take naps during the day."

The Picks after The Jump:

Star-divide

Varmint's Pick:

I am 4-8 and fully realize I lost to a dog last night.

My pick for Tuesday: Providence +8 vs. Syracuse.  The Friars are a team that really does not give a sh-t, a reflection of the state the play in, Rhode Island. This is a "ball 'til you fall" type of game. Either Providence wins by 2 or loses by 22. Providence is a party school so look for the student body to call and text the Cuse players once they get their hands on their cell phones.

Empty your bank account and lay heavy.  Providence +8 is a LOCK!!!

Teddy's Pick:

 

Teddypick2_medium

I am 1-0.  This Varmint guy stinks like my poo.

I do not know what "ball 'til you fall" means, but yesterday I played fetch for a few minutes before enjoying a small bowl of hard food for dinner.  I like the way Kansas State -4 smells.     

0 recs  |  Comment 12 comments |

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Big Fan

of this new feature. And of Teddy.

by iheartgregmonroe on Feb 23, 2010 1:25 PM EST reply actions  

Varmint

sucks. get rid of him. the dog can stay. bring back interpret the tweet

"You switched the samples"

by team doctor on Feb 23, 2010 1:29 PM EST reply actions  

What Varmint is doing

is what a team does at the end of a game, down 10 points with 2 mins left: start chucking up three balls and praying they go in. Actually, Varmints betting record is about as good as Henry Sim’s three point shooting percentage…

by TheDoctorIsIn on Feb 23, 2010 1:55 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm gonna have to go with the dog on this one

Syracuse runs over them, and K-State handles business quite well.

by TheDoctorIsIn on Feb 23, 2010 1:53 PM EST reply actions  

If Teddy goes 2-0

do you take Him straight up in dogfight with Jack?

by Takin' the Points on Feb 23, 2010 2:06 PM EST reply actions  

is that Teddy's shadow?

or did he take a pee on K-State? And would this change our interpretation of the pick?

Speak English, puppy…

KBE

by SirHoya on Feb 23, 2010 2:10 PM EST reply actions   1 recs

What about Canada?

Manley Field House is officially closed!

by HoyaParanoia85 on Feb 23, 2010 4:59 PM EST up reply actions  

discriminating taste

that hound has.

Pathetically enough, one of the high points of a visit to my home town is a toilet museum, as most of the loos in the UK hail from there. Flushed with Pride they call it. Ahem.

From the promo blurb…tell me this doesn’t have you on the next plane over there…

"Follow the story of the WC from the time of Queen Elizabeth I through to the toilet of our future.
As well as one of the best collections of Victorian decorative toilets, the gallery features the sights, sounds and smells of a Victorian slum and encourages you to discover some of the unusual historical alternatives to toilet paper.
From 1970s avocado bathroom suites to interactive exhibits and quizzes, this gallery is great fun and has something for everyone."

Makes Syracuse sound like a cultural mecca. Emigration was my only hope.

KBE

by SirHoya on Feb 23, 2010 5:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Varmint is awful

honestly, teddy’s piss could probably give us better projections than him

by TheDoctorIsIn on Feb 23, 2010 11:12 PM EST reply actions  

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