Casual Communication: Where We Compare Hoyas to Jersey Shore Cast Members

We're back from our two week holiday at Casual Communication to bring you the most hard hitting analysis on the internet.  As always, any questions should be directed to jeffgreensdad@gmail.com I promise your questions will get answered.

And away we go...

 Jeff Green's Dad, I've noticed that Casual Hoya is a huge fan of MTV's "Jersey Shore".  Can you match the current Georgetown players with the show's characters?  The Situation, Seaside, NJ

Glad you asked.  We're huge fans of your work here at Casual Hoya.

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via www.accesshollywood.com

Austin Freeman - Vinny.  On the court Austin quietly goes about his business, is the coolest dude on the floor, and works hard, just like Vinny.  He's got a sweet midrange game and will shock you with his athleticism, similar to Vinny when he beats up the beat and starts working his fist pump.  In the first episode Vinny acts pretty stupidly when he acquires pink eye, which makes him similar to every single Tweet Austin has ever made.

Chris Wright - Snooki. Chris got off to a rough start to the season when he turned the ball over every time down the court and acted as if every time he touched the ball was the first time he was playing the sport.  Snooki got off to a rough start when she got wasted, went into the jacuzzi in her thong, and then couldn't figure out the duck phone.  Chris has redeemed himself with his play over the last three games.  Snooki redeemed herself by getting punched square in the face.  Ultimately, Chris needs to be the main distributor for the Hoyas and the pace setter.  Ultimately, Snooki needs to be the main distributor of STDs and the sexual pace setter in the house.

Nikita Mescheriakov - Angelina.

"And it seems to me you lived your life

Like a candle in the wind

Your candle burned out long before

Your legend ever did."

Ahh.  Both left me too soon.  Nikita left his mark with the shot off the backboard against St. Johns in the 2009 Big East Tournament.  Angelina, who showed up to the house with her clothes in trash bags, left her mark when she uttered, "I am all natural. I have real boobs. I have a nice fat a$$. Look at this $%^&, I mean, come on, I'm hot."  No Angelina, you were fat and gross. 

Greg Monroe - The Situation.  The Hoyas will only go as far as Greg carries them.  Jersey Shore will only go as far as The Situation takes it.  Greg is the main focus of defenses, scouts and announcers.  Everybody loves The Situation.  Take it from the man himself, "Everybody at the shore definitely knows The Situation. As far as I know, everybody loves The Situation, and if you don't love The Situation, I'm gonna make you love The Situation."  I love you.

Julian Vaughn - Pauly D.  Julian lets Greg Monroe be Greg Monroe.  He cleans up the glass, defends the biggest guys, blocks shots, and protects Greg.  Pauly D is the consummate wingman, and lets The Situation be The Situation.  Without Pauly D, there is no Situation.  He is the Robin to The Situation's Batman, just like Julian is to Greg.

Henry Sims - Ronnie.  Both had high expectations coming in, both have been tremendously disappointing.  Henry dropped 30 in a Kenner League game that included NBA players, Ronnie claimed he was going to sleep with the entire island, and then decided to get wifed up within the first three days.  Henry looks like he's about to cry every time he touches the court.  Ronnie actually cried last episode.  I expect more from both of you.

Jason Clark - J Woww.  Jason will go entire halves without doing a thing, then out of nowhere his go-go gadget arms deploy and he completely takes over.  During the day J Woww looks like cow excrement, then out of nowhere she throws on one of those tube tops, lets her fake twins hang out, and I'm enthralled.  Also, I think Jason Clark should start calling himself J Woww.  In fact, anyone who has a name that starts with J should immediately start calling him or herself J Woww.

Hollis Thompson - Sammi Sweetheart.  Hollis is a good teammate, tough rebounder, and seems like an absolute joy to play basketball with.  Sammi Sweetheart must be sweet to have earned the nickname and she was clearly sweet enough to have Ronnie neuter himself.

Ryan Dougherty - Freckles Magee.  I don't know why I feel like picking on Ryan today, but he's pissing me off, just like Freckles Magee pissed off The Situation.  Nobody pisses The Situation off and gets away with it.

 

If you are JT III, what are you telling your team before the game tonight?  Marquette comes off of two very close losses to West Virginia and Villanova, and is playing at home.  How is JT III getting our team motivated?  Lauren, Washington, DC

I think the team gets motivated based on how the Big Three perform.  If that is the case, he's motivating each player in different ways. 

Austin Freeman - He was rewarded with a Ruth Chris 24 ounce steak after his stellar performance against Depaul, so I assume JT III is promising Milwaukee's finest bratwurst for him after the game if he keeps stroking it.

Greg Monroe - Contingent on a strong performance, I think JT III will give Greg the chance to serenade the entire team with a stirring rendition of "You're the First, the Last, My Everything" using his rich baritone voice.

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via rhonabennett.files.wordpress.com

Chris Wright - This is the time of year when Chris wants to start fighting teammates, so I think JT III has told him he's allowed to beat the crap out of Ryan Dougherty with no repercussions if he keeps making good decisions.  That's what walk-ons are for right?

Is there any chance in hell that this team is for real? I still say tournament team, with 2nd or 3rd round exit is absolute ceiling and I'm not even sold on that.  Chris, Arlington, VA

It's definitely too early to tell, considering I thought we had a Final Four team at this point last year, and assumed we weren't going to the tournament in 2007.  At this point though, I've only seen two teams that I think are much better than us - Kansas and Texas.  It's a weak year in college basketball, pretty similar to 2005-2006 when LSU, George Mason, UCLA and Florida were in the Final Four.  I think there are legitimately 15 teams I could see going to the Final Four, and I'd include Georgetown among them.  If we can keep playing defense as well as we have and get Chris Wright to play like he has the last three games, I think we are capable of having a very deep run in the tourney.

At some point this season, this team will be ranked in the Top 10, and that's when I'll be most interested.  If they can continue sharing the ball, preaching teamwork, and refrain from fighting each other when that happens, then I think we can make some serious noise.

How do you feel about Jeremiah Rivers' new haircut?  Billy Sunshine, Washington, DC

Honestly, it boggles my mind.  I don't understand how Doc Rivers has a son with Bret Hart's hair.  He knows he looks more like a kid going to his bar mitzvah than a Division I athlete, right?  Does Bloomington shun mirrors?  Did he see Lionel Richie's "Hello" music video and think "That's what I need to make my game more complete"?

I've had a bunch of questions about Jeremiah over the years, including:

  • How did he never have a shooting instructor growing up?
  • Why is he so bad at basketball?
  • Has there ever been another human with less self awareness?
  • Has there ever been another human with such a disconnect between talent and confidence?

But nothing compares to that hair.  It's mystifying.

Bret_hart_medium

via s.bebo.com

Big stuff happening in the Big East in the next two weeks.  The conference is about to have its first shakedown and, right now, we got five teams without a loss: Pittsburgh, Your Hoyas, West Virginia, My Wildcats, and the team from Kentucky that doesn't start John Wall at point guard.  (Yeah, I said it.)  Pitt has got Connecticut (1-1), Louisville, and G'Town in the span of a week.  The Hoyas play a Marquette team that needs a big win in the conference after a close two against Nova and West Virginia, followed by Connecticut, Nova, then Pitt.  West Virginia goes up against Rutgers (0-1) and then the South Bend Harangodys (Yep, did it) and Syracuse come January 16.  Nova--the highest ranked Big East team at this point, #6--plays Big East teams from now until March, with G'Town and Louisville on the horizon.  Finally, Louisville is staring down Providence, St, John's, Nova, and Pitt in the coming weeks.  With the conference top heavy, how's it shaking out?  Put on your Swami hat and give me the top five in the Big East on February 1.  ICEBERG PA

Considering my limited fanbase, I usually like to read the questions that come into my inbox.  I tried to do this with ICEBERG PA's question above, but quickly became crosseyed.

Expected Big East standings come February 1:

1.  West Virginia

2.  Georgetown

3.  Syracuse

4.  Villanova

5.  Pittsburgh

My guess is I end up getting none of those correct, but we shall see.  That's the beauty of the internet, everything gets archived.

Which player, other than Nikita, will be the next to shoot and hit the side of the backboard during a game this season?

Would you rather see Nikita hit the side of the backboard with a shot every game, or take a shot and hit your head against the backboard every game?  Mark, Falls Church, VA

For your first question, I have to believe there are three candidates - Ryan Dougherty, Stephen Stepka, or Henry Sims.  If I had to take a guess, it will be Henry purely because he plays a lot more than the other two.  I will also assume that when he does, it won't be the last shot, coming out of a timeout, with the season on the line.  At least I hope.

As for your second question, I'd rather do the latter.  At least I'll get some free alcohol out of it.  It's also a lot less painful to cry from physical injuries than emotional injuries (i.e. the dude from Belarus hitting the side of the backboard on a last second shot to end your season).

Jeff Green's Dad:  As a youngster growing up, I always wondered, "How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?"  Well, we just may never get to the bottom of that question.  However, as a grown Hoya Fan well over the legal drinking age, I now wonder if you could answer the following question:

How many 16 oz Verizon Center beers does it take by the 15 minute mark of the second half to become officially "Casually Cocktailed?" 

Paul, Baltimore, MD

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via tenprairiesticks.files.wordpress.com

I think Lil' Kim actually answered that question in her smash hit "How Many Licks?" featuring Sisqo.  Oh, that wasn't what that song was about?  Ok.  Also, whatever happened to Sisqo?  I really thought he was poised for big things after "The Thong Song".

Anyways, it depends on how much you pregame before entering the Verizon Center.  I've been to games in which I've been Casually Cocktailed after three sips of beer at the stadium, but I've also paid $70 and had barely a buzz.  My suggestion would be to save your money and bring your own alcohol.  Bonus points if you drink it out of a paper bag - it will be sure to weird out college girls, and other grown men will respect you.

Now that we've just begun Big East play, who matches up well with us, who doesn't, who is looking overrated / underrated?  Timothy Gillespie, Location Unknown

Teams that match up well for Georgetown:

Villanova - They haven't beaten us since January 2007 and have no answer for Vaughn or Monroe inside.  We play them twice this year, and I expect Chris Wright to settle Hoya fans' debate whether he is better than Scottie Reynolds.

Louisville - This is a down year for them after losing Earl Clark and Terrence Williams.  Usually Pitino's press gives us fits, but we have three capable ball handlers this year.

Notre Dame - No Kyle McAlarney, no problem.  I think Greg Monroe will toy with Luke Harangody this year, similar to the showing he had against Hasheem Thabeet last year in Storrs.

Connecticut - Another team that hasn't beaten us in a while, 2005-2006 to be specific.  Gavin Edwards sucks, Kemba Walker can't shoot, and Stanley Robinson strikes me as the next contestant on "Which UConn player is going to jail this year?"

Providence, Seton Hall, St. John's, Depaul, Rutgers, Marquette, South Florida - Nothing against any of these teams except Depaul, but I think this year's Hoyas will take care of opponents that have significantly less talent than them.

Teams that don't match up well for Georgetown:

Pittsburgh - Every year they are tough.  I assumed this would be a down year, yet there they are at 13-2 and 3-0 in the conference.  I keep having to remind myself that Jamie Dixon doesn't have much tournament success before I call him the best coach in the country outside of Tom Izzo.  Pittsburgh teams are a nightmare for Georgetown, I still wake up in cold sweats thinking about DeJuan Blair annihilating Roy Hibbert in the 2008 Big East Tournament Final.

Cincinnati - This team is just so physical.  On top of that, I think Lance "Born Ready" Stephenson will have something extra in store for JT III after being cut from the U 18 National Team a few summers ago.

West Virginia  - They start no one under 6'7".  We start three guys under 6'3".  I'm no mathematician, but that doesn't sound good.  Huggins teams always rebound well too.  Oh, and we're going there for the first time since Patrick Ewing's game winning block, which was rather controversial.  If we lose by less than 10, I'll consider it a win.

Syracuse - Wesley Johnson is a nightmare match up for Georgetown.  Also, zones seem to be the bane of this team's existence because apparently no one taught this team how to flash to the high post in 6th grade CYO basketball.  I'm really glad we get to play them twice.  I hope Eric Devendorf has caught syphilis in Reno already.

Overrated Teams:

Villanova - Losing Dante Cunningham has killed their inside presence.  He was much better than people give him credit for.

Connecticut - Not sold on the Big Three of Jerome Dyson, Kemba Walker and Stanley Robinson

Underrated Teams:

Pittsburgh - Lost Sam Young, DeJuan Blair and Levance "Fatty" Fields and are 13-2.  Yeah, they are underrated.

Cincinnati - Very much a believer in Lance Stephenson, Deonta Vaughn and Yancy Gates.  They defend well, are very physical, and have a great closer in Stephenson, who will only get better as the year progresses.

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