via images.morris.com

Since we stole, borrowed, adopted their offense, I figured we may as well copy the test preparation service that shares its name with Princeton University.  So in honor of big-man recruit Latavious Williams taking the SAT this week, I present to you: The Georgetown Review Guide to Scoring High on the Verbal Section of the SAT So You Can Academically Qualify to Play Division I Basketball and Thereby Commit to Georgetown and Lead Us to Glory:

Lesson #1: Analogies:

Analyze the relationship between the first two words presented, and then find the word that creates a similar relationship with the unfinished pair.  Beware, one answer choice will always represent the exact opposite relationship of what you are looking for.

Example -

Latavious Williams : Georgetown's Success ; ________ : Human Survival

(a) Chicken Fingers
(b) Oxygen
(c) Eric Devendorf
(d) Lamp

If you chose (b) then you are correct!  Oxygen is essential for human survival, just as Latavious Williams is essential for Georgetown's success.  Moving on...

Lesson #2: Sentence Completion:

Using the clues given to you in the question, choose the word that would best complete the unfinished sentence.

Example -

Hoya fans ______ upon news that Latavious Williams had committed to Georgetown as dreams of regaining the Big East Title were within reach.

(a) cheated like dirtbag Calhoun
(b) beat women like Cheddar Bob
(c) fondled referees like Coach K
(d) rejoiced

If you chose (d) then you are correct!  To rejoice means to feel great happiness and Hoya fans will certainly be happy if Latavious comes to the Hilltop next year.  And lastly...

Lesson #3: Reading Comprehension:

After reading a short paragraph, be prepared to answer questions on the tone, message and attitude of the piece.  Be careful, even if an answer seems true, it must apply to the passage you just read.

Example -

Williams has the athleticism and leaping ability to dominate the boards on both ends of the court. Williams attacks the offensive glass and finishes offensive rebounds above the rim with tip-dunks. His leaping ability allows him to grab defensive rebounds out of his area but he does not do this as much as he should. He does not have a great back-to-the-basket post game and needs to improve his touch around the hoop. If he plays as a power forward, he needs to add a jump hook to his game. If he wants to develop into a quality small forward on the next level, he needs to improve his ability to hit jumpers as well as his ball-handling skills. If he does this could develop into a nice inside-outside, frontcourt player, as he seems more comfortable as a power forward than a small forward. Williams also needs to increase his defensive focus and intensity. (via ESPN)

Georgetown was 13th in the conference last season in rebounds per game.  Given this fact, the author will most likely agree with which of the following statements?

(a) Williams can help Georgetown in rebounding.
(b) Williams can help Georgetown in ball-handling.
(c) Craig Esherick has an awesome mustache.
(d) Jim Boeheim whines a lot.

If you chose (a) then you are correct!  The author definitely believes that Latavious Williams' size and athleticism can help a team in rebounding.

Congrats.  You are now ready to take the verbal section of the SAT.  Stay tuned to our next publication entitled The Georgetown Review Guide to Reading Comprehension So You Don't Overlook Critical Passages in the 508 Page NCAA Rulebook and Violate Recruiting Rules.  The edition will have a special foreword by Jim Calhoun.

Good talk.