With the newspaper industry in a death spiral and the recent announcement of Journal Register seeking Chapter 11 protection fresh in media moguls' minds, the Wall Street Journal has decided to make a bold move and stray into the world of poorly thought out sports opinions. Unfortunately, they will soon find out that this niche sector is already saturated with the likes of Dick Vitale and Doug Gottlieb. Today, the WSJ attempted to argue that mid-major schools should get more bids to the NCAA Tournament. First off, there are only three reasons why mid-major schools should even be in the Tournament.

(1) They have super-sweet lax-bro nicknames and mascots.
(2) Their fans are egregiously more intoxicated and entertaining when their team is playing since they know they have no shot of winning and their invitation to the Big Dance was out of courtesy for going 25-4 against high school-level competition.
(3) It creates gender and age equality because they are the only reason why the boss's daughter wins your NCAA pool. And those who know me are aware that I am always a fan of equality. And sweatpants.

But where this article really makes me laugh at its pitiful attempt at journalism is the final paragraph:

The republic will survive if Georgetown and Notre Dame land in one of the three-letter tournaments. Instead of rewarding them for compiling a losing conference record, the sport would be better off letting the little guys try to keep winning.

So if the republic will survive if two mid-majors get in over Georgetown and Notre Dame, does that mean the republic will fall if they don't? I don't know about you but I would much rather watch a game between two teams in the middle of major conferences, say Arizona and West Virginia, than two teams at the top of mid-major conferences, say Chattanooga and Long Beach State. That is like asking if you would rather watch Gossip Girl or Matlock. The question like, totally, like answers itself, like.


xoxo.

Gossip Girl